Karate Dog

A young couple lived in a town filled with crime.

After three neighbors had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.

Visiting the pet store, the young wife asked for a good guard dog.

"Sorry, we're all sold out," the clerk replied. "All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he does know karate!"

The woman didn't believe the clerk, so he told the dog to karate a chair. The dog broke the chair into pieces. Then he told the dog to karate a table, and the dog quickly broke the table in half. So the woman bought the dog and took it home.

Her husband was disappointed and skeptical about the Scottie dog's abilities as a guard dog.

The wife told him about the dog's excellent karate skills.

"Karate, my butt!" the husband yelled.

To this very day, he is still in the hospital.

Chair of Applied Electronics

The Smith's were proud of their family tradition; their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower and also included many Senators and Wall Street wizards.

When they decided to compile a family history as a legacy reminder for their children and grandchildren they hired a fine author. Only one problem arose and that was how to handle that great-uncle George, who was executed in the electric chair.

The author said he could handle the story tactfully.

The book appeared. It said "Great-uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution, was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock."