Spilled Coffee and Compassion

How you perceive a situation will determine your experience and your reaction. Let's imagine that you have a favorite coffeehouse that you frequent. The staff knows your name and always has a warm and friendly greeting as you walk through the door. An extremely grumpy woman whom you have never seen before serves you this particular morning. She appears preoccupied rather than caring about you or what she is doing. As she pours your hot coffee a good portion spills in your lap. Despite your jumping in shock, no apology follows. Your experience is anger: both toward the waitress and the owner, Joe, for hiring such an incompetent person. Then, a friend of yours at the next booth says, "Isn't it great that Joe hired her!"

"Great! Are you out of your mind? She just spilled hot coffee in my lap and walked away," you reply with your best indignant voice.

"Oh, you didn't hear the story?" your friend whispers.

"What story?" you angrily reply, still drying off your new slacks, wondering how you will go through the day looking as though you wet your pants.

"Yeah, Joe didn't know her from Adam. He read in the paper that her husband had died last month in a car accident. Apparently her husband's health insurance stopped, and she was looking for another job in order to pay for her sixteen-year-old son's chemotherapy for leukemia," your friend responds.

Now, you still have hot coffee in your crotch, but are you still angry? Unlikely. The only thing that shifted was your perception and attitude. Through discovering a reason to be compassionate, your entire experience changed—and there are always reasons to be compassionate.

An important part of healing (i.e., letting go of fear) is developing compassion. Instead of going out in the world and finding plenty of reasons to be upset, go out and discover reasons to extend love. There are thousands of reasons waiting for you right now. A helpful thought to remember is that a miracle is nothing more than allowing an old grievance to become a current compassion.

If you ever run short on reasons to be compassionate, remember there is always one good reason: It makes you feel better than anything else you could do.

Lee Jampolsky

The Patrick Henry Hughes Story

They introduced the young musician. Welcome...Mr. Patrick Henry Hughes. He was rolled onto the stage in his wheelchair, and began to play the piano. His fingers danced across the keys as he made beautiful music.

He then began to sing as he played, and it was even more beautiful. For some reason, however, I knew that I was seeing something special. There was this aura about him that I really can't explain and the smile...his smile was magic!

About ten minutes into Patrick's performance, someone came on the stage and said..."I'd like to share a seven-minute video titled, The Patrick Henry Hughes story." And the lights went dim.

Patrick Henry Hughes was born with no eyes, and a tightening of the joints which left him crippled for life. However, as a child, he was fitted with artificial eyes and placed in a wheelchair. Before his first birthday, he discovered the piano. His mom said, "I could hit any note on the piano, and within one or two tries, he'd get it." By his second birthday, he was playing requests (You Are My Sunshine, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star). His father was ecstatic. "We might not play baseball, but we can play music together."

Today, Patrick is a junior at the University of Louisville. His father attends classes with him and he's made nearly all A's, with the exception of 3 B's. He's also a part of the 214-member marching band. You read it right...the marching band! He's a blind, wheelchair-bound trumpet player; and he and his father do it together. They attend all the band practices and the half-time performance in front of thousands. His father rolls and rotates his son around the field to the cheers of Patrick's fans. In order to attend Patrick's classes and every band practice, his father works the graveyard shift at UPS. Patrick said..."My dad's my hero."

But even more than his unbelievable musical talent, it was Patrick's "attitude of gratitude" that touched my soul. On stage, between songs, he would talk to the audience about his life and about how blessed he was. He said, "God made me blind and unable to walk. BIG DEAL! He gave me the ability...the musical gifts I have...the great opportunity to meet new people."

When his performance was over, Patrick and his father were on the stage together. The crowd rose to their feet and cheered for over five minutes. It gave me giant goose bumps!

YOU GET WHAT YOU EXPECT

In life we often get what we expect. If we expect something good, it has a way of showing up. If we expect something bad, it too has a way of showing up.

It reminds me of a story I heard about a wise clerk who worked at a convenience store in a small town out west.

One day, a stranger walked in, picked up some bread and milk, and made his way to the cash register.

“New to town?” the clerk asked.

“Yep. Just moved here with my family,” the stranger replied.

“Well, then let me be the first to welcome you,” the clerk offered, extending his hand.

“Thanks,” the stranger said as he shook it. “Say, what are the people like in this town?”

“Well … what were they like in the town you just left?” the clerk queried.

“Oh, they were fantastic,” the stranger replied. “Friendly, upbeat, and generous. We hated to leave.”

“I know what you mean,” the clerk nodded. “I think that’s pretty much what you’ll find here, too.”

A few days later, another stranger walked into the convenience store. Like the first, he picked up a few staples and headed to the cash register.

The same clerk asked, “New to town?”

“Yes,” the stranger mumbled. “Just arrived.”

Following the same track, the clerk smiled and extended his hand. “Let me be the first to welcome you!”

The stranger took his hand reluctantly, frowned, and quickly looked down. “So what are the people like in this town?”

“Well … what were they like in the town you lived in last?” the clerk queried.

“Not great,” he stammered. “They were cold, aloof, and selfish. We were glad to get out of there.” He looked up at the clerk.

“I know what you mean,” the clerk affirmed. “I’m afraid that’s probably what you’ll find here, too.”

If it’s true that we get what we expect, it’s worth noticing our expectations—and shifting them toward a more positive outcome.

Michael Hyatt

A Future President's Gratitude

Grace was the little girl who told Lincoln to grow a beard

Conrad Hyers in his book, And God Created Laughter tells a of an 8 year old girl who wrote to Abraham Lincoln, who was then running for President suggesting that he grow a beard. In her opinion, Lincoln would stand a better chance of election if he grew one to hide the homeliness of his face. Lincoln could have been offended, but instead he answered her letter personally and thanked her for her suggestion, furthering adding that he’d like to visit with her when his campaign came to her area.

On the day that Lincoln’s campaign train was scheduled to pass through the town, practically the whole town was assembled at the station. There were the leading Republicans wearing their top hats, the shiny marching, band, the townsfolk in their finest attire. Almost everyone was there... al except the little girl. She was left home. After all, her father reasoned, Lincoln would be interested only in the politicians and their speeches - the votes and the voters - not the attentions of a little girl.
 

It so happened, however, that as the campaign train approached the town, it was forced to stop for repairs. Lincoln, not wanting to sit in the warm train, set off across the field afoot in search of the little girl’s home.
When Lincoln introduced himself at the door, the maid was speechless. But the little girl and her playmate, the maid’s daughter, welcomed him in as if they were expecting him. The two girls had been having a pretend party, drinking pretend hot chocolate out of their small teacups and they invited Mr. Lincoln to join them. After a while, Lincoln said he must be going, thanked them for the party, and asked them how they liked his new beard. Then he walked to the waiting train.
 

When Lincoln boarded the train, it started on its way and went right through the town without stopping. Right past all the waiting dignitaries, politicians, loud playing band and flag draped platform; right past ladies and gentlemen in their Sunday best... for Lincoln hadn’t come to visit people who were putting on a show for his benefit. He had come to visit and say thank you to a little girl who just wanted to spend time with him.

The Rules of Bureaucracy

1. Preserve thyself.
2. It is easier to fix the blame than to fix the problem.

3. A penny saved is an oversight.

4. Information deteriorates upward.

5. The first 90% of the task takes 90% of the time; the last 10% takes the other 90%.

6. Experience is what you get just after you need it.

7. For any given large, complex, hard to understand, expensive problem, there exists at least one short, simple, easy, cheap wrong answer.

8. Anything that can be changed will be, until time runs out.

9. To err is human; to shrug is service.

10. There's never enough time to do it right, but there's always enough time to do it over.

Disappointment is His Appointment

Andrew Murray

During a low period in the life of noted author Andrew Murray, he wrote the following words: “He brought me here. He will keep me here. He will make this trial a blessing. He will bring me out again. Therefore, I am here by God’s appointment, in His keeping, under His training, for His time.” 

It is often said that “disappointment is his appointment.” We don’t see that in advance, only in reverse. Be encouraged. God knows what he is doing even when we don’t have a clue.

Extract from Ray Pritchard

Keep Believing Ministries

A prolific author and church pastor, Andrew Murray, was a 19th century missionary. He led many Christians in ministry to the indigenous black populations of South Africa.

One Hot Ferrari!

My father really dislikes my stepfather, Mike, and is always calling him names, saying what a "good-for-nothing" guy he is.

Mike knows about his name-calling because sometimes when my father comes to pick me up, he'll say inconsiderate things right in front of my stepdad like, "Is what's-his-name going to pick you up after the game, or am I supposed to bring you home?"

Even though it's rude that my father doesn't call Mike by his name, my stepdad doesn't hold it against my father. "Sure, I'll pick up BeShawn at 3:30," he'll answer. Nor does Mike make a big deal about my father's inconsiderate attitude towards him. He lets the comments go.

I asked my stepfather if the way my father treats him bothers or upsets him. "Oh, not really," he said. "You don't always have to be right, as long you do what's right." I like it that Mike is secure with himself. My father's taunts don't bother Mike because he likes himself. My dad's opinion of my stepdad doesn't change the way Mike feels about himself.

I really admire Mike. I especially like how he's good to my mother. And I really like what a good father he is to me. I appreciate all the things he does for me, like teaching me to throw a fastball and helping me with my homework — without becoming impatient like my father does. Mike even volunteered at my school's carnival this year. No other stepdads were there.

Though I would never tell my real father that I think my stepfather is one of nicest guys I know, he is. I'm happy to have Mike as my stepfather. Sometimes, I even call Mike "Dad" because he acts like a dad to me. In my eyes, my stepfather is a really great guy —  one hot Ferrari.

BeShawn Niles, 13 years old