Are You Gonna Talk, or Are You Going to Fish?

Are You Gonna Talk, or Are You Going to Fish?

There was a man in a community that had the reputation for always being able to catch fish. 

Regardless of the time of the year it was, or whether anybody else was catching fish, this man was always managed to come back with a boat load of fish. 

His brother-in-law, who happened to be a Game Warden had always been amazed at the man's success. 

So, one morning the man agreed to take his brother in law fishing with him. They went to a lake that was known for its poor fishing. 

The game warden watched his brother-in-law take the boat out to the middle of the lake and cut the motor off. 

The game warden was confused as he noticed that his brother-in-law didn't worry about finding a ledge or brush-pile, or anything like that. 

Then instead of getting his rod and reel out, the game warden's brother-in-law pulled a stick of dynamite out of a sack, lit it, and threw it overboard. 

A few seconds later, there was a big BOOM, and almost immediately the surface of the lake was covered with stunned fish. 

The Game warden couldn't believe what he had just witnessed. 

He immediately began reciting the fishing laws and regulations to his brother-in-law. 

But this didn't seem to bother his brother in law in the least. He simply reached into the bag for another stick of dynamite, lit it, and tossed it to the game warden and said... 

..."You gonna talk, or you gonna fish?" The game warden noticed the fuse was almost to the end and He quickly decided to fish. 

Now that story probably isn't true, but it's still a good story. 

Unfortunately, I think God would like to throw some of us a stick of dynamite this morning and say, "Are you gonna talk, or are you going to fish?" 

The Fisherman's Wife

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.
 

"Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. 

 Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

A girl raised her hand and asked,

"To draw out all his savings?"

Realistic Fishing Proverb

Give a man a fish and he will eat all day.


Teach a man to fish and he will go out and buy expensive fishing equipment, stupid-looking clothes, a sports utility vehicle, travel 1000 miles to the "hottest" fishing spot and stand waist-deep in cold water so he can try to outsmart a fish.


Average cost per fish: $395.68

The Peacock Syndrome

A rich man decided to take up fishing. He bought the most expensive equipment and bait, but he caught nothing. 

He passed by a farm boy who had an old stick and a rusty hook but had caught a big string of fish. 

"How did you manage to catch so many, when I couldn't catch a single one?" he asked. 

"Oh," said the boy, "I try to keep out of sight so the fish won't see me. Perhaps you show yourself too much."

Fish Fight Story

Doug was describing a 30-pound bass he'd caught recently, after fighting it for three hours.

Bill interrupted the story saying, "I saw the picture you took of that fish. You're lucky if it even weighed 10 pounds."

Doug replied, "Well, a fish can lose an awful lot of weight during three hours of fighting!"

A Few Fishing Definitions

HOOK - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement used to lure a fisherman to spend his life's savings on fishing supplies. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after she learns what he spent their life's savings on. (Usually accompanied by word "right" or "left.")

LINE - Something you give your coworkers when they ask how your fishing trip went.

LURE - An object that dangles from the end of your fishing line and is supposed to encourage fish to bite it. It is the fisherman's equivalent of sports cards, comic books, buttons, lint, and other things you collect that generally have no purpose.

REEL - A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.

ROD - An attractively-painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.

TACKLE - What your last catch did to you right after you brought him into the boat and right before he jumped back overboard.

TACKLE BOX - A box shaped alarmingly like a good first aid kit, only a tackle box carries an extremely large number of sharp objects, so that when you reach in blindly to grab an adhesive bandage, you soon find that you will need more than one.

TEST - (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of your creativity when trying to come up with yet another explanation for why you have come home once again empty-handed.

Fishing Mirror

A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small boat. He noticed another man in a small boat open his tackle box and take out a mirror. Being curious the man rowed over and asked, "What is the mirror for?"

"That's my secret way to catch fish," said the other man.

"Shine the mirror on the top of the water. The fish notice the spot of sun on the water above and they swim to the surface. Then I just reach down and net them and pull them into the boat."

"Wow! Does that really work?"

"You bet it does."

"Would you be interested in selling that mirror? I'll give you $30 for it."

"Well, okay."

After the money was transferred, the city fisherman asked, "By the way, how many fish have you caught this week?"

"You're the sixth," he said.