Major Decision

A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party, everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age. 
The husband responded, “When we were first married we came to an agreement. I would make all the major decisions and my wife would make all the minor decisions. 

And in 60 years of marriage, we have never needed to make a major decision.”

50 Years Felt Like 5 Minutes

On an airplane, I overheard a stewardess talking to an elderly couple in front of me. Learning that it was the couple's 50th wedding anniversary, the flight attendant congratulated them and asked how they had done it.

"It all felt like five minutes..." the gentleman said slowly.

The stewardess had just begun to remark on what a sweet statement that was when he finished his sentence with a word that earned him a sharp smack on the head:

"...underwater."