Welcome to Albert's Sermon Illustrations

In this blog, I have collected many stories, quotes, jokes and ideas that I use regularly in my sermons.I have tried to put in the sources and origins of these illustrations. If I have missed some or gotten the wrong sources, please let me know. I will update them. Feel free to use these illustrations for the glory of God. If you have some illustrations that you like to contribute, kindly add them to my blog, so that I and others may benefit from them. God bless!
Reverend Albert Kang

P/S: This is a free site and thus it has advertisements that are not in the blogger's control. If some of them are offensive, please ignore them. Thank you for your understanding.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Important Recall Notice


The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype unit code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed “Subsequential Internal Non- Morality” or more commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily characterized by loss of moral judgment. Some othersymptoms are:
  • Loss of direction
  • Foul vocal emissions
  • Amnesia of origin
  • Lack of peace and joy
  • Selfish or violent behavior
  • Depression or confusion in mental component
  • Fearful
The manufacturer, who is neither liable or at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service FREE of charge to correct the SIN defect. [The number to call in your area is F-A-I-T-H. Simply believe that Christ died for your sins, was buried and rose again, and your unit will be regenerated. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Christ will repair and replace it with]:
  • Forgiveness
  • Love
  • Joy
  • Peace
  • Longsuffering
  • Gentleness
  • Goodness
  • Faith
  • Meekness
  • Temperance
Please see operating manual HOLY BIBLE for further details on the use of these fixes. [See sections I Cor. 15:1-4; Eph. 1:7; and Gal. 5:16-26].
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human unit without correction voids the manufacturer’s warranty, exposing the owner to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. [For free emergency service before it’s too late: call upon the Lord Jesus Christ who loved us and gave Himself a ransom for our sins].
DANGER: The human units not receiving this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace.
This action was authorized by the Creator.

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