The Barber's Fault?

A preacher and an atheistic barber were once walking through the city slums.

Said the barber to the preacher: "This is why I cannot believe in a God of love. If God was as kind and loving as you say, He would not permit all this poverty, disease, and squalor. He would not allow these poor bums to be addicted to dope and other character-destroying habits. No, I cannot believe in a God who permits these things."

The minister was silent until they met a man who was especially unkept and filthy. His hair was hanging down his neck and he had a half-inch of stubble on his face.

Said the minister: "You can't be a very good barber or you wouldn't permit a man like that to continue living in this neighborhood without a haircut and a shave."

Indignantly the barber answered: "Why blame me for that man's condition? I can't help it that he is like that. He has never come in my shop. I could fix him up and make him look like a gentleman!"

Giving the barber a penetrating look, the minister said: "Then don't blame God for allowing the people to continue in their evil ways, when He is constantly inviting them to come and be saved."

Truth be told, God can't change you unless you step forward and ask God to help you change for the better.

Jesus Is Gonna Win!

Vernon Grounds writes, "A friend told me of an incident that happened while he was in seminary.

Since the school had no gymnasium, he and his friends played basketball in a nearby public school.

Nearby, an elderly janitor waited patiently until the finished playing. Invariably he sat there reading his Bible.

One day my friend asked him what he was reading. The man answered, 'The book of Revelation.' Surprised, my friend asked if he understood it. 'Oh, yes,' the man assured him. 'I understand it!' 'What does it mean?'

Quietly the janitor answered, 'It means that Jesus is gonna win.'"

Yes my friend, at the end Jesus will win.

The Prison Door That Houdini Could Not Open

Harry Houdini, the famed escape artist issued a challenge wherever he went.

He could be locked in any jail cell in the country, he claimed, and set himself free quickly and easily.

Always he kept his promise, but one time something went wrong. 

Houdini entered the jail in his street clothes; the heavy, metal doors clanged shut behind him.

He took from his belt a concealed piece of metal, strong and flexible.

He set to work immediately, but something seemed to be unusual about this lock.

For 30 minutes he worked and got nowhere.

An hour passed, and still he had not opened the door.

By now he was bathed in sweat and panting in exasperation, but he still could not pick the lock.

Finally, after laboring for 2 hours, Harry Houdini collapsed in frustration and failure against the door he could not unlock.

But when he fell against the door, it swung open! It had never been locked at all!

But in his mind it was locked and that was all it took to keep him from opening the door and walking out of the jail cell.

The End Is Near!

A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before its too late!" 

They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. 

"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard a big splash. 

"Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says bridge out instead?"

The Knots Prayer

Dear God,

Please untie the knots

that are in my mind,

my heart and my life.

Remove the have nots,

the can nots and the do nots

that I have in my mind.

Erase the will nots,

may nots, and

might nots that find

a home in my heart.

Release me from the could nots,

would nots and should nots

that obstruct my life.

And most of all, dear God,

I ask that you remove from my mind

my heart and my life all of the am nots

that I have allowed to hold me back,

especially the thought

that I am not good enough.

Amen

God's Chair

A man's daughter had asked the local pastor to come and pray with her father. When the pastor arrived, he found the man lying in bed his head propped up on two pillows and an empty chair beside his bed. The pastor assumed that the old fellow had been informed of his visit. 

"I guess you were expecting me," he said.

"No, who are you?" 

"I'm the new associate pastor at your local church,"  the pastor replied. "When I saw the empty  chair, I figured you knew I was going to show up." 

"Oh yeah, the chair," said the bedridden man.  "Would you mind closing the door?" 

Puzzled, the pastor shut the door. 

"I've never told anyone this, not even my daughter," said the man. 

"But all of my life I have never known how to pray. At church I used to hear the pastor talk about prayer, but it always went right over  my head. I abandoned any attempt at prayer," the old man continued, "until one day about four years ago my best friend said  to me, 'Joe, prayer is just a simple matter of  having a conversation with Jesus. Here's what I suggest: Sit down  on a chair; place an empty chair in front of you, and in faith see Jesus on the chair. It's not spooky because he promised, 'I'll be  with you always.' Then just speak to him and listen in  the  same way you're doing with me right  now.'  So, I tried it and I've liked it so much that I do it a couple of hours every day.  I'm careful, though. If my daughter saw me talking to an empty chair,  she'd either have a nervous breakdown or send me to off to the  funny farm." 

The pastor was deeply moved by the story and  encouraged the old guy to continue on the journey. Then he prayed with him, and returned to the church. 

Two nights later the daughter called to tell the pastor that her daddy had died that afternoon. 

"Did he seem to die in peace?" he asked. 

"Yes, when I left the house around two o'clock, he called me over to his bedside, told me one of his jokes, and kissed me on the cheek. When I got back from the store an hour later, I found him dead. But there was something strange, in fact, beyond strange... really weird. Apparently, just before Daddy died, he leaned over and rested his head on a chair beside the bed." 

Unreasonable Fears

Buzzard

If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6 feet  (1.9 m) by 8 feet (2.4 m) and is entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of its ability to fly, will be an absolute prisoner.

The reason is that a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground with a run of 10 (3 m) to 12 feet.(3.7) Without space to run, as is its habit, it will not even attempt to fly, but will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with no top. 

Bat

The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a remarkably nimble creature in the air, can not take off from a level place. If it is placed on the floor or flat ground, all it can do is shuffle about helplessly and, no doubt painfully, until it reaches some slight elevation from which it can throw itself into the air. Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.

 

Bumble Bee

A bumble bee, if dropped into an open tumbler, will be there until it dies, unless it is taken out. It never sees the means of escape at the top, but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom. It will seek a way where none exists, until it completely destroys itself.

 

People

In many ways, we are like the buzzard, the bat, and the bumble bee. We struggle about with all our problems and frustrations, never realizing that all we have to do is look up.

George Foreman Lost 85 Pounds

George Foreman was a two-time heavyweight boxing champion of the world. At age 45, he became the oldest man in the world to win the title. In his book, God in My Corner, he writes

 When I started my comeback, I had to get rid of some excess George. I was extremely overweight. In the nearly ten years I had been out of boxing, I had ballooned from 220 to 315 pounds. And it wasn’t muscle that I gained!

To get back into an exercise regimen, I started with the basics—running every day. I was so out of shape that I couldn’t go far. At first, I couldn’t even make it around my block, which was about a mile. I had to stop a few times to catch my breath, huffing and puffing. 

Just imagine a big, fat guy, gasping for air, barely able to jog around the block, who claims that he will be the heavyweight champion of the world again! I looked ridiculous to everyone who saw me. I’m sure they laughed as they peeked through their curtains early in the morning while I slowly shuffled past their houses. Only two people on this entire planet believed I could recapture the title—my wife and me.

But I had to get my weight down. I would walk and run, walk and run. Finally, I was able to run the whole time without walking. Then I began running longer distances, and with the combination of a proper diet and regular exercise, the fat continued to melt away. I kept running for the next eight months, until I finally got down to my fighting weight—229 pounds. The flab was fun to put on, but hard to take off. However, I wouldn’t have won the championship title if I first hadn’t gotten rid of that extra weight. 

(George Foreman, God In My Corner, Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2007, p. 169)

In similar fashion, our habits of sin can become dead weight that prevents us from effectively engaging in spiritual warfare. Spiritual discipline is absolutely essential. 

I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave.

1Cor.9:26-27 - NKJV

Because My Father Says So!

Jaeden

I asked Jaeden where his father was. The six-year old replied, "In Vietnam."

To further the conversation, I asked, "Do you know where is Vietnam?"

Jaeden said without any hesitation, "Yes!"

I was curious and asked further, "Have you been to Vietnam?"

With a quick innocent glance, Jaeden said, "No!".

"If you have not been there, how do you know where Vietnam is?" I jested.

Unperturbed, Jaeden said, "Because my father says so!"

Now imagine someone asks you about God the Father:

"Where is your Father?"

 "In Heaven!"

"Do you know where is Heaven?"

"No!"

"If you have not been there, how do you know where Heaven is?"

"Because my Father says so!"

That is faith because we absolutely believe that our Father in Heaven would not lie to us and that He knows where Heaven is.

Faith To Let Go

A man fell off a cliff, but managed to grab a tree limb on the way down. The following conversation ensued: 

"Is anyone up there?"

"I am here. I am the Lord. Do you believe me?"

"Yes, Lord, I believe. I really believe, but I can't hang on much longer."

"That's all right, if you really believe you have nothing to worry about. I will save you. Just let go of the branch."

A moment of pause, then: "Is anyone else up there?"

Bits & Pieces

Dead Faith

To illustrate dead faith, "It is that kind of faith which would lead a man to take a bottle of medicine from his medicine cabinet. 

Looking at the instructions on it, he says, 'I'm sure they're correct. I have all confidence in the source of the medicine. I know who wrote these directions. I believe everything about it. 

I know this will relieve my headache, if I just take it.' But he takes the medicine bottle and puts it back on the shelf. He doesn't lose his headache. It continues on. Yet he can say I believe that medicine. I

believe all about that medicine. But still he won't take it. That's dead faith."

James 2:20 - Dr. Harlan Roper, Tape on James, Dallas, Texas.

The ABC of A Little Girl's Prayer

Many of us need to be more like the little girl whom the farmer found lost in his meadow. 

The farmer said to her, "Do not cry; I'll take you home." 

The little child snuggled up to him, and with a smile, said, "I knew you would; I was waiting for you." 

"Waiting for me?" said the man. "What made you think I was coming?" 

"I was praying you would." she said. 

"Praying? When I first heard you, you were saying A B C D E F G. What was that for?" 

She looked up again and said, "I'm just a little girl. I was praying all the letters of the alphabet and letting God put them together the way He wanted to. He knows I was lost, and He knows how to put them together better than I do." 

What a difference if we would only let God put the letters of our lives together.

Do You Believe In The Law of the Pendulum?

In college I was asked to prepare a lesson to teach my speech class. We were to be graded on our creativity and ability to drive home a point in a memorable way. The title of my talk was, "The Law of the Pendulum." 

I spent 20 minutes carefully teaching the physical principle that governs a swinging pendulum. The law of the pendulum is: A pendulum can never return to a point higher than the point from which it was released. Because of friction and gravity, when the pendulum returns, it will fall short of its original release point. Each time it swings it makes less and less of an arc, until finally it is at rest. This point of rest is called the state of equilibrium, where all forces acting on the pendulum are equal. 

I attached a 3-foot string to a child's toy top and secured it to the top of the blackboard with a thumbtack. I pulled the top to one side and made a mark on the blackboard where I let it go. Each time it swung back I made a new mark. It took less than a minute for the top to complete its swinging and come to rest. When I finished the demonstration, the markings on the blackboard proved my thesis. 

I then asked how many people in the room BELIEVED the law of the pendulum was true. All of my classmates raised their hands, so did the teacher. He started to walk to the front of the room thinking the class was over. In reality it had just begun. 

Hanging from the steel ceiling beams in the middle of the room was a large, crude but functional pendulum (250 pounds of metal weights tied to four strands of 500-pound test parachute cord.). I invited the instructor to climb up on a table and sit in a chair with the back of his head against a cement wall. Then I brought the 250 pounds of metal up to his nose. 

Holding the huge pendulum just a fraction of an inch from his face, I once again explained the law of the pendulum he had applauded only moments before, "If the law of the pendulum is true, then when I release this mass of metal, it will swing across the room and return short of the release point. Your nose will be in no danger." 

After that final restatement of this law, I looked him in the eye and asked, "Sir, do you believe this law is true?" There was a long pause. Huge beads of sweat formed on his upper lip and then weakly he nodded and whispered, "Yes." I released the pendulum. It made a swishing sound as it arced across the room. At the far end of its swing, it paused momentarily and started back. I never saw a man move so fast in my life. He literally dived from the table. Deftly stepping around the still-swinging pendulum, I asked the class, "Does he believe in the law of the pendulum?" The students unanimously answered, "NO!"  

Ken Davis, How To Speak To Youth, pp 104-106.

God In My Corner

George Foreman was a two-time heavyweight boxing champion of the world. At age 45, he became the oldest man in the world to win the title. In his book, God in My Corner, he writes:

When I climbed in the ring during my comeback, the announcers often introduced me as “the former heavyweight champion of the world.” As they introduced me, I’d mumble to myself, “And the next heavyweight champion of the world.”

How could I ever win the title if I didn’t believe that I could? If you have a great dream you are attempting to fulfill in your life, you’ve got to believe it can happen before you can actually do it. I wasn’t trying to be proud. I simply believed what God had promised me—that I would regain the title. 

 
(George Foreman, God In My Corner, Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2007, p.135)

The King and Four Acorns

A story is told of an Eastern king which illustrates at once our delusion respecting natural processes, and also God's work and presence in them. 

The king was seated in a garden, and one of his counselors was speaking of the wonderful works of God. 

"Show me a sign," said the king, "and I will believe." 

"Here are four acorns," said the counselor, "will you, Majesty, plant them in the ground, and then stoop down for a moment and look into this clear pool of water?" 

The king did so, "Now," said the other, "look up." 

The king looked up and saw four oak-trees where he had planted the acorns. "Wonderful!" he exclaimed, "this is indeed the work of God."

 "How long were you looking into the water?" asked the counselor. 

"Only a second," said the king. "Eighty years have passed as a second," said the other. 

The king looked at his garments; they were threadbare. He looked at his reflection in the water; he had become an old man. "There is no miracle here, then," he said angrily. 

"Yes," said the other, "it is God's work, whether he did it in one second or in eighty years."

Sunday School Times

Didn't See That Coming

The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week that her mother decided to give her the worst kind of punishment. She told her she couldn't go to the Sunday School Picnic on Saturday.

When the day came, her mother felt she had been too harsh and changed her mind. When she told the little girl she could go to the picnic, the child's reaction was one of gloom and unhappiness.

"What's the matter? I thought you'd be glad to go to the picnic." her mother said.

"It's too late!" the little girl said. "I've already prayed for rain."

Prime the Pump

The following letter was found in a baking-power can wired to the handle of an old pump that offered the only hope of drinking water on a very long and seldom-used trail across Nevada's Amargosa Desert: 

This pump is all right as of June 1932. I put a new sucker washer into it and it ought to last five years. But the washer dries out and the pump has got to be primed. Under the white rock I buried a bottle of water, out of the sun and cork end up. 

There's enough water in it to prime the pump, but not if you drink some first. Pour about one-fourth and let her soak to wet the leather. Then pour in the rest medium fast and pump like crazy. You'll git water. The well has never run dry. Have faith. When you git watered up, fill the bottle and put it back like you found it for the next feller. 

(signed) Desert Pete. 

P.S. Don't go drinking the water first. Prime the pump with it and you'll git all you can hold.

Keith Miller and Bruce Larson, The Edge of Adventure.