Deaths at Venal Fall

The Deadly Venal Fall

In July of 2011, three young tourists when visiting Yosemite National Park were swept over the 317-foot Vernal Fall. One of the tourists, a young woman, was no doubt drawn by the alluring beauty of the raging waterfall and the fast moving Merced River below after a record winter snowfall. Tragically she slipped on a rock above the falls. Two friends reached out to rescue her and the trio was swept over the edge.

At the bottom of the trail leading to the Vernal Falls there is a sign warning about the fast moving water. Also, when entering the Yosemite Park, visitors are given a news paper warning about water hazards and to stay away from fast moving water.

Furthermore, at the top of the Vernal Fall there is a guard railing and a metal safety barricade marked with a warning. Tragically the victims of this tragedy ignored all the warning signs, climbed over the barricade, and fell to a horrific death.

How foolish we say, and yet, I wonder how many warnings in life we ignore. The greatest tragedy of all is when we ignore all the warnings in God's Word, the Bible—and especially so if we ignore God's warnings about life after death.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/07/21/yosemite-deaths-reminder-rivers-risks/#ixzz1TG7gp6TL

Big But Not So Smart

A newly deputized police officer responded to a report of a bar room disturbance.

The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds.  What's more he boasted that he could whip the deputy and the "Heavy Weight Boxing Champion of the World."

Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist too; probably better than Houdini."

The giant nodded.

"If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show us all how strong you really are.  But all I've got is a set of lousy handcuffs. Why don't you show us just how quickly you can break out of them?"

Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes.

"I can't get out of these," the giant growled.

"Are you sure?" the deputy gingerly asked.

The fellow tried again.  "Nope," he replied.  "I can't do it."

"In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest."

Let Me Tell You How I Save Myself!

The first thing we need to understand is we cannot save ourselves. Imagine being on a ship in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and falling overboard. Because no one saw you fall in, the ship continues toward its destination, leaving you hopelessly stranded.  

After treading water for several hours, you find yourself surrounded by sharks. You face certain death at any moment. Exhausted from trying to stay afloat, you slip underwater and begin to drown. Somehow, you force your way to the surface for one more gasp of air.

As you are about to go under for the last time, a helicopter appears miraculously out of nowhere. The rescue squad inside the helicopter throws out a rope and lassos your hand, pulling you out of the water just seconds before the sharks move in for the kill. The helicopter flies you back to shore, where you receive treatment in the hospital.

After you recover, you begin to brag about how you saved yourself.  "I'm really proud of my hand. This hand saved me. Let me tell you how I found the helicopter in the middle of the ocean...."

           

Just like we can't save ourselves if we were stranded in the Atlantic, we are also helpless to save ourselves from hell. God doesn't want our help, either.  Because Jesus does all of the saving, we have no right to brag about anything we have done.  

 "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9).  

(Kent Crockett, The 911 Handbook, Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers, 2003, 221)

Short-Sightedness

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
--Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
--Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won’t last out the year."
--The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

"But what ... is it good for?"
--Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
--Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

"This ’telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us."
--Western Union internal memo, 1876.

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
--David Sarnoff’s associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ’C,’ the idea must be feasible." --A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith’s paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

"Who the heck wants to hear actors talk?" --H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.

"I’m just glad it’ll be Clark Gable who’s falling on his face and not Gary Cooper." --Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind."

"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make."
--Response to Debbi Fields’ idea of starting Mrs. Fields’ Cookies.

"We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
--Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."
--Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.

"If I had thought about it, I wouldn’t have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can’t do this."
--Spencer Silver, on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads.

"So we went to Atari and said, ’Hey, we’ve got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we’ll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we’ll come work for you.’ And they said, ’No.’ So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, ’Hey, we don’t need you. You haven’t got through college yet.’"
--Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak’s personal computer.

"Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high schools."
--1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard’s revolutionary rocket work.

Those Gray Forms!

“Are there any alligators in this river?” asked the man in the water. “No, not a single one,” assured his friend who was standing near. 

The swimmer was still disturbed.  Again he asked: “If there are no alligators, what are those gray forms I see? Are you sure there are no alligators?” 

“Certainly,” replied this newly made friend who was standing on the bank.

“There are no alligators down there. Those gray forms you see are sharks that have chased the alligators away.”

There is the tendency for persons nowadays to think that modern technology, education, psychology, medicine can solve all of our problems. So often, though, all we do is swap alligators for sharks.

Too Busy to Take Heed of Six Warnings

One account of the Titanic says that ships close by warned them six times that they were headed for an iceberg and would sink. On the sixth time the Captain of the Titanic signaled back, "Shut up I'm busy." That's what we are telling God and the Preacher and the Holy Spirit.

Let's read all the ice-warnings that the Titanic received on the 14th of April, 1912.

1. At 9:00am the Titanic received an ice-warning from the Caronia, the message was delivered to the bridge at Captain's request, for other officers to take note.
'Captain, Titanic west bound report bergs, growlers and Field ice in 42*N, from 49* to 51*W, compliments, Barr'


2. At 1:42pm the Titanic received an ice-warning from the Baltic, the message was delivered to Captain Smith, and he talked about it with Ismay. Ismay then put the ice-warning in his pocket and later showed it to other passengers, then the Captain asked for the return of the warning, and he posted it in the chart room at 7:15!

'Greek steamer Athenia reports passing icebergs and large quantities of field ice today in latitude 41*51* N, longitude 49*52* W wish you and Titanic all success. Commander'

3. At 1:45pm the Titanic received an ice-warning from the Amerika, this was really a private message over heard by the wireless operators, and never made its way to the bridge.

'Amerika passed two large icebergs in 41*27* N, 50*8* W on April 14.'

4. At 7:30pm the Titanic received an ice-warning from the Californian, this message was also over heard by the wireless operators and was delivered personally to the bridge by one of the wireless operators Harold Bride. Captain Smith was not made aware of this ice-warning, he was dining in the La Carte resturant with the Wideners.

'To Captain, Antillian latitude 42*3* N, longitude 49*9* W, three large bergs five miles to the southward of us. Regards Lord'

5. At 9:40pm the Titanic received an ice-warning from the Mesaba, this message never reached the bridge. Harold was taking a much needed rest, and Phillips was too busy sending commercial traffic to Cape Race.

'From Mesaba to Titanic. In latitude 42* N, to 41*25* W, to longitude 52*30* W, saw much heavy pack ice and great number large icebergs, also field ice, weather good, clear.'

6. Around 11:00pm the Titanic received an ice-warning again from the Californian, this liner was only 10 miles away from the Titanic. As Phillips was busily sending private messages the Californian was going to tell Titanic that she was stopped for the night because of field ice, but when he started transmitting he was so close that it burst into the already stressed ears of Jack Phillips, He did not wait for the warning to come through before he replied angrily "shut up, shut up, I am busy I am working Cape Race." The Californian operator felt rejected and shut down his radio and went to bed.

Anonymous Letter to D. L. Moody

D.L. Moody was preaching once and got a note before he preached. All that was on the note was the word "Fool". 

He stepped up to the front and said, "This is interesting. I usually get letters from people without a name on it. 

Tonight somebody has given me a piece of paper with their name on it but no letter."

Ironside's Dog

H.A. Ironside had an experience with a customer in a crowded restaurant. Just as Ironside was about to begin his meal, a man approached and asked if he could join him at his table. Ironside invited his to have a seat.

Then, as was his custom, Ironside bowed his head in prayer. 

When he opened his eyes, the other man asked, "Do you have a headache?" 

Ironside replied, "No, I don't." 

The other man asked, "Well, is there something wrong with your food?" 

Ironside replied, "No, I was simply thanking God as I always do before I eat." 

The man said, "Oh, you're one of those, are you? Well, I want you to know I never give thanks. I earn my money by the sweat of my brow and I don't have to give thanks to anybody when I eat. I just start right in!" 

Ironside said, "Yes, you're just like my dog. That's what he does too".

Police Officer Testifies

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. 

The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility.

Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'  

A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'

Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?' 

A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.' 

Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
 
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'

Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'

A: 'Yes sir, we do!'

Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'  

A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'

Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'

A: 'Yes, sir.'

Q: 'Now, ... why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?' 

A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.

He who digs a hole and scoops it out falls into the pit he has made. (Psalm 7:15)

Really Brave Guy

This guy arrives at the Pearly Gates. He has to wait to be admitted, while Saint Peter leafs through his Big Book.

He's checking to see if the guy is worthy of entry or not. Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did lots of good in your life but, you never did anything bad either.

Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you're in."

The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Well, there was this one time when I was driving down the highway and I saw a Biker Gang assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, that's what they were doing. There were about fifty of them torturing this chick.

Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron from my trunk and walked straight up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the Gang formed a circle all around me.

So I ripped the leader's chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, 'Leave this poor, innocent girl alone, you slime! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'"

Saint Peter, extremely impressed, says, "Really? Wow, when did all this happen?"

"Er.. about two minutes ago."

Trusting God in the Flood

It had been raining for days and days, and a terrible flood had come over the land. The waters rose so high that one man was forced to climb onto the roof of his house.

As the waters rose higher and higher, a man in a rowboat appeared, and told him to get in. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the rowboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters rose higher and higher, and suddenly a speedboat appeared. "Climb in!" shouted a man in the boat. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the speedboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters continued to rise. A helicopter appeared and over the loudspeaker, the pilot announced he would lower a rope to the man on the roof. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the helicopter went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters rose higher and higher, and eventually they rose so high that the man on the roof was washed away, and alas, the poor man drowned.

Upon arriving in heaven, the man marched straight over to God. "Heavenly Father," he said, "I had faith in you, I prayed to you to save me, and yet you did nothing. Why?" 

God gave him a puzzled look, and replied "I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"

Silly Excuses

Philadelphia Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers give for speeding. Here are some of the officers' favorites. By the way, none of them worked.

A man told the officer he was rushing to the hospital because he had been stung by a bee, and was allergic. "There's the bee right there," he said, pointing to his dashboard. The officer looked. The bee was not only dead, but in an advanced state of decomposition.

An officer stopped a man doing 80 mph. When he asked the driver whether he had seen the speed-limit signs, the man responded, "I went by them so fast I probably missed them."

A man going south on I-95 was stopped near Washington Avenue doing 79 mph. "My engine misses, and I'm trying to clean out the carburetor," he told the officer. For good measure, he added, "If I don't go this fast, my car won't go at all." 

 

"I'm due in traffic court," one speeder said. "If I'm late, they're going to enforce the bench warrant."

When an officer told a speeder that the speed limit on the Schuylkill Expressway was 50 mph, the driver responded, "Officer, where have you been? It's 65 now."

One speeder said simply, "I'm trying to beat my wife home. Don't ask."

An elderly person was stopped after doing 73 mph. When told he was getting a ticket, he asked the officer, "Is there a senior citizen's discount?"

(from Cybersalt)

The man who was chased by cops and called 911 to try to fool them

A Sarasota man about to be pulled over by police tried to lure officers away by making a fake 911 call. Officers were following a 28-year-old man's car to make a traffic stop when they got a 911 call for an armed robbery happening several blocks away.

The man's plan seemed to work at first when the officers cut off their chase to answer the call. But then other officers in the area followed him into a parking lot and saw a gun in his car. Officer's determined that the man was a felon and not allowed to possess a firearm. After the man was arrested, officers said they discovered that the bogus 911 call came from his cell phone.

The woman who called 911 because McDonald's didn't have McNuggets

Angered that her local McDonald's was out of Chicken McNuggets, a Florida woman called 911 three times to report the fast food "emergency." 

Latreasa Goodman, 27, called police to complain that a cashier would not give her a refund. When cops responded to the restaurant, Goodman told them, "This is an emergency. If I had known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn't have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one." She was arrested and the Police pressed charges for misusing the 911 system.

The lonely man who called 911 over 27,000 times

John Triplette, a 45-year-old unemployed man, was charged for abusing the 911 emergency line: he made over 27,000 calls to 911.

Police says he was a lonely man who would call the dispatchers for company, sometimes hundreds of times a day. He would also make various noises, including grunts and other bodily noises, minimal conversation in a disguised voice, beeps from the touch pad, etc.

The prank 911 calls were made from a T-Mobile cell phone which leaded to his arrest after police tracked his cell signal. Police said he apologized for the calls. He said he made them "because they were free." He faces $1,000 fine and/or six months in jail.

The woman who called 911 after getting locked inside her own car

A Florida woman called 911 because she was locked inside her car. Turns out all she needed to do was manually pull up the lock on the door.

The unidentified woman was parked at a Walgreen's store in Kissimmee. "My car will not start. I'm locked inside my car," the unidentified woman said. "Nothing electrical works. And it's getting very hot in here, and I'm not feeling well." The dispatcher then suggested pulling up the lock. The woman tried it and was successfully able to open the door.

The Woman Who Called 911 To Ask A Police Officer On A Date

A woman in Aloha, Oregon, called 911 because she thought a deputy who had just visited her house on a complaint was good-looking. After her neighbors reported a noise complaint, two sheriff's deputies knocked on Lorna Jeanne Dudash's door. One of them caught her eye. When they left, Dudash dialed 9-1-1 in a desperate attempt to get the deputy she described to dispatchers as “a cutie pie” to return.

She said that she didn't have an emergency; she just wanted the dispatcher to “throw the cute police back her way”. The “cute” deputy returned, and, once he determined there was no legitimate emergency, he arrested Dudash for misusing 9-1-1. She now faces a fine of up to several thousand dollars and up to a year in jail.

Insulting The Giver

To seek to earn, merit, or purchase salvation is to insult the Giver. 

President Obama speaks at National Prayer Breakfast in 2009

Imagine yourself invited to a banquet in the White House by the president of the United States. 

You are seated at a table that is filled with the choice foods. Every effort is made to give you a most enjoyable evening. At the end of a lovely visit, the president stands at the door to bid you good-bye. 

What do you do? 

As you leave do you press a dime into his hand and say, “Thank you very much for your kindness. I realize it has cost you a lot of money, and I want to help you pay for the meal.” 

Is that the proper response to his kindness? 

On the contrary, it would be a very rude and insulting gesture. 

So it would be with God’s grace. 

(William MacDonald, The Grace of God - Swindoll’s Book of Illustrations, p. 250.)

King of the Jungle?

There was a young lion who wandered from his father to test whether or not he would get the same respect from the other animals as his father did. As the young lion approached some monkeys, he roared and asked, "WHO IS THE KING OF THE JUNGLE?" 

The monkeys, being afraid, responded, "YOU are!" The lion replied, "And don't you forget it!" The lion repeated this to each animal in the jungle and got the same response until he came across a herd of elephants. 

The little lion roared and asked, "WHO IS THE KING OF THE JUNGLE?" The big bull elephant walked closer to the lion, swooped him up in his trunk, swung him around and around and threw him in the river. 

Battered and wet, the little lion replied, "Just because you didn't know the answer to the question didn't mean you had to get nasty about it!" 

Most of us roar through life without God in the same way - as if we are kings of the jungle - until life throws us in a tail spin and shows us that we are not.

What Should I Do To Marry A Rich Guy?

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden , $250k annual income is not enough. I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don¢t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (My target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

Here's a reply from a Wall Street Financial guy:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of beauty and money: Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a trading position. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or leased. Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in leasing services, do contact me.

Signed,
J.P. Morgan