The Beggar and the Bread

A beggar came and sat before me. “I want bread,” he said.

“How wise you are,” I assured him. “Bread is what you need. And you have come to the right bakery.” So I pulled my cookbook down from my shelf and began to tell him all I knew about bread.

I spoke of flour and wheat, of grain and barley. My knowledge impressed even me as I cited the measurements and recipe. When I looked up, I was surprised to see he wasn’t smiling. “I just want bread,” he said.

“How wise you are.” I applauded his choice. “Follow me, and I’ll show you our bakery.” Down the hallowed halls, I guided him, pausing to point out the rooms where the dough is prepared and the ovens where the bread is baked.

“No one has such facilities. We have bread for every need. But here is the best part,” I proclaimed as I pushed open two swinging doors. “This is our room of inspiration.” I knew he was moved as we stepped into the auditorium full of stained-glass windows.

The beggar didn’t speak. I understood his silence. With my arm around his shoulder, I whispered, “It overwhelms me as well.” I then leaped to the podium and struck my favorite pose behind the lectern. “People come from miles to hear me speak. Once a week my workers gather, and I read to them the recipe from the cookbook of life.”

By now the beggar had taken a seat on the front row. I knew what he wanted. “Would you like to hear me?”

“No,” he said, “but I would like some bread.”

“How wise you are,” I replied. And I led him to the front door of the bakery. 
“What I have to say next is very important,” I told him as we stood outside. “Up and down this street you will find many bakeries. But take heed; they don’t serve the true bread. I know of one who adds two spoons of salt rather than one. I know of another whose oven is three degrees too hot. They may call it bread,” I warned, “but it’s not according to the book.”

The beggar turned and began walking away. “Don’t you want bread?” I asked him.

He stopped, looked back at me, and shrugged, “I guess I lost my appetite.”

I shook my head and returned to my office. “What a shame,” I said to myself. “The world just isn’t hungry for true bread anymore.”

I don’t know what is more incredible: that God packages the bread of life in the wrapper of a country carpenter or that he gives us the keys to the delivery truck. Both moves seem pretty risky. The carpenter did his part, however. And who knows -- we may just learn to do ours.

From A Gentle Thunder
Copyright 2001, Max Lucado

Get Her In!

I love a story told by Robert Coleman in his book The Heartbeat of Evangelism concerning an eminent preacher of a past generation, Dr Charles Berry. 

In his younger days, Berry had struggled with the concept of the cross and its meaning. When he began his ministry, like many people with humanistic training, he had looked upon Jesus more as a great moral teacher than a divine Saviour. He viewed Christianity as essentially living a good life.

Late one night during his first pastorate in England, while sitting in his study, he heard a knock. Opening the door, he saw a poorly dressed Lancashire girl. “Are you a minister?” she asked. Getting an affirmative answer, she continued anxiously: “You must come with me quickly. I want you to get my mother in.” Imagining that it was the case of some drunken woman out on the streets, Berry said, “Why? Go and get a policeman.” “No,” said the girl, “my mother is dying, and you must come with me to get her in—to heaven.”

The young minister dressed and followed her through the deserted streets for more than a mile. Led into the woman’s room, he knelt down beside her and began describing the kindness of Jesus, explaining that he had come to show us how to live unselfishly. Suddenly the desperate woman cut Berry off. “Mister,” she cried, “that’s no use for the likes of me. I am a sinner. I have lived my life. Can’t you tell me of someone who can have mercy on me, and save my poor soul?"

“I stood there,” said Dr Berry, “in the presence of a dying woman, and I had nothing to tell her. In order to bring something to that dying woman, I leaped back to my mother’s knee, to my cradle faith, and told her of the cross, and the Christ who was able to save.” Tears began running over the cheeks of the eager woman. “Now you are getting at it,” she said. “Now you are helping me.” And the famous preacher, concluding the story, said, “I want you to know that I got her in, and, blessed be God, I got in myself.”

Dick Tripp

You Mean We Gotta Pay For This?

A certain pastor thought taking his two visiting nephews to church would be a good experience. Neither of the six and nine-year-old boys had any church experience, so Bob looked forward to the opportunity of spiritual exposure. 

The stark reality, though, of kids growing up outside of the church came to fruition when the kids came down for the children’s sermon. In the middle of the discussion with the kids, the pastor’s six-year-old nephew, Eric, raised his hand and blurted out, “How much longer do we have to stay up here?” 

Pastor Bob endured and went on. Eric was still not terribly impressed with what he had seen. This became most evident when the offering plates were passed. Little Eric watched with keen interest as the plate made its way toward him. When the offering plate reached his hands he asked in a very audible voice, “You mean we gotta pay for this?” 

[source: Baptist Beacon, 2/20/92, p. 5. Qtd in In other Words, Raymond McHenry]

Evangelist Billy Graham

William Franklin Graham, Jr ...better known as Billy Graham, is an evangelist and an Evangelical Christian. He has been a spiritual adviser to multiple U.S. presidents and was number seven on Gallup's list of admired people for the 20th century. He is a Southern Baptist.

Graham has preached in person to more people around the world than anyone who has ever lived. As of 1993, more than 2.5 million people had stepped forward at his crusades to "accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior." As of 2002, Graham's lifetime audience, including radio and television broadcasts, topped two billion.

Graham was close with every American President from Dwight D. Eisenhower to George W. Bush, who said it was a conversation with Graham that led him to become a Christian.

For many years Graham wrote a daily advice column à la Dear Abby, where every reader's dilemma was answered with the same ultimate advice: Come to Christ. His many books include How to be Born Again. 

In 1953, Graham started World Wide Pictures, a Christian studio that has been cranking out Christian films ever since. In WWP films, the protagonist's problems are resolved by finding Christ. In several of these films, Christ is found at a Billy Graham rally. Graham is retired, and his son Franklin Graham is now CEO of Billy Graham Evangelistic Association.

Phone Line Not Working Too Well

Little Joanie was watching her father, a pastor, writing his sermon.

"How do you know what to say?" the curious little girl asked.
 

Her father answered without looking up, "Why, God tells me."

Then the girl asked again, "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

The father quickly replied, "Well, that's because Daddy's inner phone line with God is a little faulty!"

The quick-thinking little girl then said, "Why didn't you get the telephone repair men to fix your phone line?"

The pastor then looked up at his little daughter in disbelief. 

He then reached out and hugged her, saying, "Daddy will get the repair men to fix the line!"

Throwing All Into The River

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

With even greater emphasis, he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

And then, finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down.

The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a pleasant smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: 'Shall We Gather At the River.'"

The Wish of A Dying Preacher

The old preacher had spent 40 years pastoring in the same church and was highly respected in the community. 

The end of his life was drawing near and as he lay on his death bed he ask for the local banker and the local lawyer to come and spend his last hours with him. 

Both were impressed that they would be ask and discussed amoung themselves what great pearl of wisdom the old pastor wished to share with them. As they enter his room he motioned for one to sit on his left and one on his right. 

As they sat down a great peace came upon the man of God, thirty minutes passed and not a word was spoken. 

Finally the banker leaned forward and ask, "Reverend, we were wondering what great pearl of wisdom you may want to share with us since you called us here."

The old preacher looked at him and replied, "As you know Jesus has been my example all my life, and since he died between two theives I decided that's the way I wanted to go".

You Can't Even Find The Post Office

Billy Graham tells of a time, during the early years of his preaching ministry, when he was due to lead a crusade meeting in a town in South Carolina, and he needed to mail a letter. 

He asked a little boy in the main street how he could get to the post office. 

After the boy had given him directions, Billy said, "If you come to the central Baptist church tonight, I'll tell you how to get to heaven." 

The boy replied, "No thanks, you don't even know how to get to the post office!" 

The Perfect Pastor

Dear Ideal Church Member,

Thank you for your email. Yes, we agree  with you that the ideal pastor should preach exactly 20 minutes.  He can condemn sin, but he should never hurt anyone's feeling.  He has to work from 8 AM to midnight, and should also serve as the church janitor.  He should make $40 a week, wear good clothes, and donate $30 a week to the church.  He is 29 years old and has 40 years of experience.  He is both tall and short, thin and heavyset, and has one brown eye and one blue eye.  He should make 15 house calls a day and always be in his office.

If your pastor does not measure up to these criteria, send this list to six other churches that are also dissatisfied with their pastors. Then, bundle up your pastor and send him to the church at the top of the list.  In one week you will receive  alist of 1,643 pastors.  Surely one of them will be perfect.  Have faith in this letter.  One church broke the chain and got its old pastor back in three months.

Yours sincerely,

Ken Nobie

C.E.O.

PerfectPastorSearch.com