Any Doctors In The House?

A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?"

Several men stood up as the lights came on.

An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her, "Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in a date with a nice girl?"

The Other Side

A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side." Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."
"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side of which came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear.

I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing ... I know my Master is there and that is enough."

Do not be afraid, Jesus said, "I will never leave you."

Three Old Men

Have you heard of this funny story?

Three old men went to the doctor for a memory test. The doctor asked the first old man, "What is one plus one?"

"Two hundred seventy-four," he said.

The doctor asked the same question of the second man, "What is one plus one?"

"Tuesday," he said.

The doctor tried the third man, "What's one plus one?"

"Two," said the third man.

"That's great!" said the doctor. "How did you get that?"

"Simple," said the third man. "I subtracted 274 fromTuesday."

End of story.

Who Shot The Buck?

WARNING:This joke may not be suitable for those who are not hunters. 

Three friends decided to go deer hunting together. One was a lawyer, one a doctor, and the other a preacher.
As they were walking, along came a big buck. The three of them shot simultaneously. Immediately the buck dropped to the ground and all three rushed up to see how big it actually was.

Upon reaching it they found out that it was dead but had only one bullet hole. Thus a debate followed concerning whose buck it was.

A few minutes later a game officer came by and asked what the problem was. The doctor told him their reason for the debate. The officer told them he would take a look and tell them who shot it.

Within a few seconds the game officer said with much confidence, "The pastor shot the buck!"

They all wondered how he knew that so quickly.

The officer said, "Easy. The bullet went in one ear and out the other."

Thanks to Pastor Cheng Lip Kiong for sharing this joke on FB.

What Lies On The Other Side?

A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side."

Very quietly the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know? You, a Christian man, does not know what is on the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side of which came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside.

He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened he sprang in without fear."

"I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing: I know my Master is there, and that is enough. And when the door opens, I will pass through it with gladness, but with no fear."

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen! (Heb. 11:1)

A Boy, a Brick, and a Doctor

A Boy, a Brick, and a Doctor

"Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."¹

In "Character Counts" Michael Josephson writes, "Consider the parable of a doctor driving through a poor part of town. He was in a hurry, so he ignored a young boy who tried to flag him down. But, as he slowed for a traffic light, his car was hit by a brick. The man got out of the car and screamed, 'You'll go to jail for this!'

"The boy cried, 'Take me to jail, but first please call someone to help my mom. She's on the floor in our apartment and I think she's dying. We have no phone and I couldn't get anyone to stop—I didn't know what else to do.'

"Filled with shame, the doctor rushed to the woman's aid and saved her life with CPR. Of course, he didn't call the police, and he made sure the boy was taken care of as his mom was taken to the hospital.

"When the doctor got home and told his wife, she said, 'Well, that dent will cost you $1,000 to fix.'"

"'No, it won't,' he said. 'I'm not fixing the dent. I'm going to leave it as it is to remind me that not everyone in need has a brick.'"²

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be sensitive to the needs of people with whom I come in contact every day. I am available, please make me usable, and use me today to be 'as Jesus' in some way to every life I touch. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."

1. James 1:27 (NLT).
2. Michael Josephson, Character Counts.

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By Dick Innes

Actual Medical Records

The following are actual medical records taken from patients' charts around North America:

- The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

- Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

- The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

- She is numb from her toes down.

- While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

- The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

- Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

- Patient was alert and unresponsive.

- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.