Flight Captain's Announcement

A plane took off from Louisville International Airport, and when it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain started his announcements over the intercom.

"Ladies and gentleman, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 254, nonstop from Louisville to Miami. The weather ahead is good and we expect a smooth and uneventful flight. So just sit back and relax - OH NOOOOOOOO!"

Silence followed for several minutes.

Finally the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry for the earlier scare. While I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled it in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

Back in coach, a passenger said to the person next to him, "That's nothing! He should see the back of mine!"

To Know the Heart of the Pilot

To Know the Heart of the Pilot

By MAX LUCADO

Three passengers share a row of seats in an airplane. As the plane is taxiing for takeoff, their conversation turns to the topic of the airplane pilot.

Stunningly, passenger “A” doesn’t believe one exists. “No one flies the plane. We are guided by a computer system in the terminal. This plane is an occupied drone.  Why should I believe otherwise? The cockpit door is closed. Who can know? There is no pilot.”

Passenger “B” disagrees. “Oh, there is a pilot. Someone sits at the controls of the plane. But, once we take off, he takes a nap. He gets the plane in the air and then goes to sleep.”

The third passenger is shocked by what she hears. “You don’t know what you are talking about. First, there is a pilot. Second, the pilot is alert, competent and kind. I know; he is my husband. He is seasoned and sensitive and has every intention of a successful flight. We are in good hands.”

Three passengers. Three opinions. A plane with no pilot. A plane with a disengaged pilot. A plane with a seasoned and concerned pilot. Fast forward a few minutes. Turbulence shakes the plane like popcorn in a paper bag. Will the three passengers experience the flight in the same way? Of the three travelers, which is most prone to stay calm?

Nothing is more important than the right view of God. Nothing. I’ve seen the wealthy and highly educated crumple like cowards at the face of death. I’ve seen the simple and humble take their final breath with a smile and a song. The difference? They knew the Pilot.

You need to know the heart of the pilot. That is why the story of Jesus is in the Bible. He is the only picture of God ever taken. To know Jesus, is to know God. To know God is to know: this flight gets bumpy, but the Pilot? He knows how to get us home.

Tips for Student Pilots

Tips for Student Pilots

1. Takeoffs are optional. Landings are mandatory.


2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller.


3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.


4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.


5. The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.


6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.


7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.


8. A "good" landing is one from which you can walk away. A "great" landing is one after which they can use the plane again.


9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.


10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.


11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival equals a small probability of survival -- and vice versa.


12. Never let an airplane take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.


13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction.


14. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.


15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.


16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.


17. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.


18. If all you can see out of the windscreen is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.


19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.


20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgment.


21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.


22. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old, bold pilots.


23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.


24. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of takeoffs you've made.


25. The three most useless things to a pilot are altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.


And a bonus tip:


Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.