Crazy Laws

It was not uncommon in the Middle Ages for animals to be tried in courts of law. These prosecutions were based on the Biblical law of Moses which stated that, "If an ox gores a man or woman so that they die, then the ox shall be stoned and his flesh shall not be eaten". 

Horses, rats, pigs and even insects have been taken to court on various occasions. In 1445, at St. Julien, an action was taken against some beetles which had ravaged a vineyard. The insects declined to attend court, so the case fizzled out. 

In the 16th century, a clothes moth was put on trial in Spain, charged with destroying a valuable tapestry. Actually, it was innocent; it was the larvae who were the real culprits. But the moth was found guilty anyway and sentenced to have its throat cut. 

In France in 1314, a bull was hanged for goring a man and in 1457, a sow and her six young piglets were sentenced to death for eating a child. The sow was executed, but the piglets got off on account of their youth. 

Humans have passed all sorts of stupid laws - and still do. But there's never been a law against "love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control".

Socrates And Knowlwdge

There's a story about a proud young man who came to Socrates asking for knowledge. 

He walked up to the muscular philosopher and said, "O great Socrates, I come to you for knowledge." 

Socrates recognized a pompous idiot when he saw one. 

He led the young man through the streets, to the sea, and chest deep into water. Then he asked, "What do you want?" 

"Knowledge, O wise Socrates," said the young man with a smile. 
Socrates put his strong hands on the man's shoulders and pushed him under. 

Thirty seconds later Socrates let him up. "What do you want?"he asked again. "Wisdom," the young man sputtered, "O great and wise Socrates." 

Socrates crunched him under again. Thirty seconds passed, thirty-five. Forty. Socrates let him up. The man was gasping. 

"What do you want, young man?" Between heavy, heaving breaths the fellow wheezed, "Knowledge, O wise and wonderful..." 

Socrates jammed him under again Forty seconds passed. Fifty. "What do you want?" "Air!" he screeched. "I need air!" 

"When you want knowledge as you have just wanted air, then you will have knowledge." 

And what's the best knowledge there is? 

The knowledge of God. 

Lesson From A Cake

A little boy is telling his Grandma how "everything" is going wrong: School, family problems, health problems, etc. 

Meanwhile, Grandma is baking a cake.

She asks her grandson if he would like a snack, which of course he does.

"Here, have some cooking oil."

"Yuck" says the boy.

"How about a couple raw eggs? "

"Gross, Grandma!"

"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"

"Grandma, those are all yucky!"

To which Grandma replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!" She continued, "God works the same way in our lives."

The Birds and the Monkeys

Once upon a time, there was a huge tree on the banks of a river. The tree made a comfortable home for the family of birds who had built their nests on its branch. The birds were living there happily as the tree with its widespread branches sheltered them from scorching sun and heavy rains.

One day, when the sky was overcast with dark clouds, it rained very heavily. Some monkeys who were playing nearby the tree got drenched and ran for shelter under the tree. All of them were shivering with cold. When the birds saw the monkeys in the pitiable condition, one of the birds said,” O Monkeys, you would not have to shiver like this, if you had built a home like us. You would not have to suffer like this. If we can build our nest with small beaks, then why cant you. By God’s grace, you have two hands and two legs. Why don’t you make a nice shelter for yourselves?”

On hearing this, the monkeys got annoyed and swore to teach a lesson to the birds. They said to themselves, “These birds are not afraid of the rain or of cold wind. They are living comfortably that is why they are criticizing us like this. Let the rain stops, we’ll show them how to build home”. As soon as the rain stopped, the monkeys climbed up the tree and destroyed the nests of the birds. They also broke the birds’ eggs and threw the young ones down.

The poor birds flew here and there in misery. They were full of regret for their words and realized that they should not have given advice that was not asked. Advice should only be given to learned, wise and to those who ask for it.

Moral: Never give advice to fools. 

Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse. Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning. (Proverbs 9:7-9)

Mother and You

3 yrs old: "Ma, I love you"

10 yrs old: "Mom whatever!"

16 yrs old: "OMG! My Mom is so annoying!"

18 yrs old: "I wanna leave this house."

25 yrs old: "Mom, you were right."

30 yrs old: "I want to go back to my Mom's house."

40 yrs old: "Mom, what do you think?"

50 yrs old: "I don't wanna lose my Mom."

60 yrs old: "Ma, I love you."

70 yrs old: "I would give up anything for my Mom to be here."

80 yrs old: "Ma, see you in heaven soon!"

Anonymous Letter to D. L. Moody

D.L. Moody was preaching once and got a note before he preached. All that was on the note was the word "Fool". 

He stepped up to the front and said, "This is interesting. I usually get letters from people without a name on it. 

Tonight somebody has given me a piece of paper with their name on it but no letter."

Special Bank

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day, every evening it deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day.

What would you do?

Draw out every cent, of course!
Each of us has such a bank. It's name is TIME.

Every morning it credits you with 86,400 seconds Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.

Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow".

You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and
success!

The clock is running. Make the most of today.

lipstick Prints On School's Mirror

According to a news report, a certain private school in Newcastle upon Tyne was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the  girls would put them back.

Finally the Headmistress decided that something had to be done. She  called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing  a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.  (you can just imagine the yawns from the little Geordie 'Princesses').

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she  asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers....
..and then there are educators.