Welcome to Albert's Sermon Illustrations

In this blog, I have collected many stories, quotes, jokes and ideas that I use regularly in my sermons.I have tried to put in the sources and origins of these illustrations. If I have missed some or gotten the wrong sources, please let me know. I will update them. Feel free to use these illustrations for the glory of God. If you have some illustrations that you like to contribute, kindly add them to my blog, so that I and others may benefit from them. God bless!
Reverend Albert Kang

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Thursday, October 20, 2011

Four Words

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked the wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. The mother, preoccupied in the kitchen, totally forgot the matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle and, fascinated with its color, drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed, the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just four words.

What do you think were the four words?

The husband just said "I Love You, Darling!"

The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a 'life-giving'  behavior. The child is dead. Blaming his wife will not bring the child back to life. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would never have happened. No point in attaching blame. She has also lost her only child. What she needs at that moment is consolation and sympathy from her husband. That is what he gives her.

Sometimes we spend time asking who is responsible or who is to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. We miss out some warmth in human relationship in giving each other support. After all, shouldn't forgiving someone we love be the easiest thing in the world to do? Treasure what you have. Do not multiply pain, anguish and suffering by refusing to forgive.

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be more joy and fewer problems in the family, society and world.

Take off all your anger, envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears and you will find that living with others is actually not as difficult as you think...!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Different Rewards In Eternity

A Catholic, a Baptist, and a Presbyterian all die and go to heaven. Saint Peter comes around to the Pearly Gates and leads them through to a hallway lined with doors. These, he explains, lead to the place you'll spend eternity in.

He asks the Catholic, "What denomination were you?"

"Roman Catholic."

Peter points to a heavily carved dark wooden door and says, "Step in there." The Catholic opens it up to find a chapel lined with stained-glass windows and candles. He gasps with delight, "A church!" and runs inside, kneels and starts counting his rosary.

Peter turns to the Baptist and gets his denomination, then points to another door. The Baptist opens it to find a canvas tent filled with people singing and waving their arms to a swaying choir and a shouting pastor. "A revival meeting!" He runs and joins the crowd.

Finally Peter asks the Presbyterian, "And what were you?"


Peter leads him to another door and pulls it open. Inside is a big, round table with people seated around shuffling papers and arguing. The Presbyterian claps his hands to his face in happiness.

"A committee!"

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

How Many People It Took To Make You!

How Many People It Took To Make You!

1)............1 YOU
2)............2 parents
3)............4 grandparents
4)............8 great grandparents
5)...........16 gg grandparents
6)...........32 ggg grandparents
7)...........64 gggg grandparents
8)..........128 ggggg grandparents
9)..........256 gggggg grandparents
10..........512 ggggggg grandparents
11).......1,024 gggggggg grandparents
12).......2,048 ggggggggg grandparents
13).......4,096 gggggggggg grandparents
14).......8,192 ggggggggggg grandparents
15)......16,184 gggggggggggg grandparents
16)......32,768 ggggggggggggg grandparents
17)......65,536 gggggggggggggg grandparents
18).....131,072 ggggggggggggggg grandparents
19).....262,144 gggggggggggggggg grandparents
20).....524,288 ggggggggggggggggg grandparents
21)...1,048,576 gggggggggggggggggg grandparents
22)...2,097,152 ggggggggggggggggggg grandparents

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Faithful Church Attenders

A study once disclosed that:

If both Mom and Dad attend church regularly, 72% of their children remain faithful.
If only Dad, 55% remain faithful.
If only Mom, 15%.
If neither attended regularly, only 6% remain faithful.
The statistics speak for themselves—the example of parents and adults is more important than all the efforts of the church and Sunday School.

Warren Mueller in Homemade, May, 1990

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Translator William Tyndale Strangled and Burned

How many Bibles do you have in your house? For most of us, Bibles are easily accessible, and many of us have several. That we have the Bible in English owes much to William Tyndale, sometimes called the Father of the English Bible. 90% of the King James Version of the Bible and 75% of the Revised Standard Version are from the translation of the Bible into English made by William Tyndale, yet Tyndale himself was burned at the stake for his work on this day, October 6, 1536.

Back in the fourteenth century, John Wycliffe was the first to make (or at least oversee) an English translation of the Bible, but that was before the invention of the printing press and all copies had to be hand written. Besides, the church had banned the unauthorized translation of the Bible into English in 1408.

Over one hundred years later, however, William Tyndale had a burning desire to make the Bible available to even the common people in England. After studying at Oxford and Cambridge, he joined the household of Sir John Walsh at little Sudbury Manor as tutor to the Walsh children. Walsh was a generous lord of the manor and often entertained the local clergy at his table. Tyndale often added spice to the table conversation as he was confronted with the Biblical ignorance of the priests. At one point Tyndale told a priest, "If God spare my life, ere many years pass, I will cause a boy that driveth the plough shall know more of the Scriptures than thou dost."

It was a nice dream, but how was Tyndale to accomplish this when translating the Bible into English was illegal? He went to London to ask Bishop Tunstall if he could be authorized to make an English translation of the Bible, but the bishop would not grant his approval. However, Tyndale would not let the disapproval of men stop him from carrying out what seemed so obviously God's will. With encouragement and support of some British merchants, he decided to go to Europe to complete his translation, then have it printed and smuggled back into England.

In 1524 Tyndale sailed for Germany. In Hamburg he worked on the New Testament, and in Cologne he found a printer who would print the work. However, news of Tyndale's activity came to an opponent of the Reformation who had the press raided. Tyndale himself managed to escape with the pages already printed and made his way to the German city Worms where the New Testament was soon published. Six thousand copies were printed and smuggled into England. The bishops did everything they could to eradicate the Bibles -- Bishop Tunstall had copies ceremoniously burned at St. Paul's; the archbishop of Canterbury bought up copies to destroy them. Tyndale used the money to print improved editions!

King Henry VIII, then in the throes of his divorce with Queen Katherine, offered Tyndale a safe passage to England to serve as his writer and scholar. Tyndale refused, saying he would not return until the Bible could be legally translated into English. Tyndale continued hiding among the merchants in Antwerp and began translating the Old Testament while the King's agents searched all over England and Europe for him.

Tyndale was finally found by an Englishman who pretended to be his friend but then turned him over to the authorities. After a year and a half in prison, he was brought to trial for heresy -- for believing, among other things, in the forgiveness of sins and that the mercy offered in the gospel was enough for salvation. In August 1536, he was condemned; on this day October 6, 1536 he was strangled and his body burned at the stake. His last prayer was "Lord, open the King of England's eyes." The prayer was answered in part when three years later, in 1539, Henry VIII required every parish church in England to make a copy of the English Bible available to its parishioners.

Adapted from an earlier Christian History Institute story.
Bowie, Walter Russell. Men of Fire. New York: Harper and Brothers, 1961.
Daniell, David. William Tyndale, a biography. New Haven: Yale University Press, 1994.
Dictionary of National Biography. Edited by Leslie Stephen and Sidney Lee. London: Oxford University Press, 1921 - 1996.
Kunitz, Stanley L. British Authors Before 1800; a biographical dictionary. New York: H. W. Wilson, 1952.
Mozley, J. F. William Tyndale. London: Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge; New York: The Macmillan company, 1937.
Sampson, George. Concise Cambridge History of English Literature. Cambridge, 1961.
"Tyndale or Tindale, William." The Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church. Edited by F. L. Cross and E. A. Livingstone. Oxford, 1997.
Wild, Laura Huld. The Romance of the English Bible; a history of the translation of the Bible into English from Wyclif to the present day. Garden City, New York: Doubleday, Doran, 1929.
Various encyclopedia articles.
Last updated July, 2007

Find this article at: http://www.christianity.com/churchhistory

A Praying Truck Driver

Before Dawson Trotman became the founder of the Navigators he was a truck driver. During that time he and a friend prayed early in the morning over a map of the world for each nation prior to work. They did this for a several week period. Little did Dawson know that God would use his life to touch the lives of people in all the countries for which they were praying.
God says through the prophet Jeremiah (Jeremiah 33:3), “Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.” What great and mighty things would God show you if you were to spend an extended time in prayer? What impact would it have upon your life? Upon the lives of countless others? It changed Dawson Trotman’s life forever.
Why not begin to call upon God today in a deeper way than you ever have before? Allow God to reveal to you great and mighty things that you do not know.
By Ed Wrather

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Are You Telling God What To Do?

A Unique Way to Pray 

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God."1

Terry tells how she "was in the habit of praying very specifically for what she wanted. She told God in great detail about the kind of job, the kind of husband, the kind of life that she envisioned for herself. And Terry was frequently frustrated. But one day, Terry's friend suggested that she try a different tack. 'Give God a blank sheet of paper,' the friend suggested, 'and let God give you his list for your life.'

"Not long afterwards, Terry went back to school—something she hadn't anticipated doing. And she met a wonderful new man, whom she eventually married. He didn't fit the criteria of her earlier lists, but he was everything she wanted in a husband. When Terry turned her life over to God's will, God provided for her needs in ways she couldn't have imagined."2

Another excellent way to pray is, taking off on the famous quote by JFK: "Ask not what God can do for you but rather, what can you do for God—today?"

Suggested Prayer: "Dear God, in light of all that you have done for me, what can I do for you today? Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen." 

1. Philippians 4:6 (NKJV).
2. Terry Fitzgerald Sieck, found in Stories of God's Abundance for a More Joyful Life (Lancaster, PA: Starburst Publishers, 1999), pp. 196-198. 


Thursday, October 6, 2011

Realistic Fishing Proverb

Give a man a fish and he will eat all day.

Teach a man to fish and he will go out and buy expensive fishing equipment, stupid-looking clothes, a sports utility vehicle, travel 1000 miles to the "hottest" fishing spot and stand waist-deep in cold water so he can try to outsmart a fish.

Average cost per fish: $395.68

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Arrogant FBI Agent

An FBI agent tells a Montana rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegal grown drugs."

The old rancher says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there."

The agent verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me."  

Reaching into his rear pant pocket and removing his badge, the officer proudly displays it to the farmer. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish, on any land. No questions asked nor answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"

The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.

Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the agent running for his life and close behind is the rancher's bull.

With every step, the bull is gaining ground on the agent. The agent is clearly terrified.

The old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs...

"Your badge! Show him your badge!"