God IS Watching

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. 

At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted it on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching. "

Moving farther along the lunch line, at the end of the table, was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. 

A child had written a note: "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Different Rewards In Eternity

A Catholic, a Baptist, and a Presbyterian all die and go to heaven. Saint Peter comes around to the Pearly Gates and leads them through to a hallway lined with doors. These, he explains, lead to the place you'll spend eternity in.


He asks the Catholic, "What denomination were you?"


"Roman Catholic."


Peter points to a heavily carved dark wooden door and says, "Step in there." The Catholic opens it up to find a chapel lined with stained-glass windows and candles. He gasps with delight, "A church!" and runs inside, kneels and starts counting his rosary.


Peter turns to the Baptist and gets his denomination, then points to another door. The Baptist opens it to find a canvas tent filled with people singing and waving their arms to a swaying choir and a shouting pastor. "A revival meeting!" He runs and joins the crowd.


Finally Peter asks the Presbyterian, "And what were you?"


"Presbyterian."


Peter leads him to another door and pulls it open. Inside is a big, round table with people seated around shuffling papers and arguing. The Presbyterian claps his hands to his face in happiness.


"A committee!"