Important Recall Notice

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype unit code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed “Subsequential Internal Non- Morality” or more commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily characterized by loss of moral judgment. Some othersymptoms are:

• Loss of direction
• Foul vocal emissions
• Amnesia of origin
• Lack of peace and joy
• Selfish or violent behavior
• Depression or confusion in mental component
• Fearful

The manufacturer, who is neither liable or at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service FREE of charge to correct the SIN defect. [The number to call in your area is F-A-I-T-H. Simply believe that Christ died for your sins, was buried and rose again, and your unit will be regenerated. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Christ will repair and replace it with]:

• Forgiveness
• Love
• Joy
• Peace
• Longsuffering
• Gentleness
• Goodness
• Faith
• Meekness
• Temperance

Please see operating manual HOLY BIBLE for further details on the use of these fixes. [See sections I Cor. 15:1-4; Eph. 1:7; and Gal. 5:16-26].
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human unit without correction voids the manufacturer’s warranty, exposing the owner to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. [For free emergency service before it’s too late: call upon the Lord Jesus Christ who loved us and gave Himself a ransom for our sins].
DANGER: The human units not receiving this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace.
This action was authorized by the Creator.

Would You Swap Places With This Rich Guy?

A young man named Steve Walker walked into Zig Ziglar's office years ago. A friend of his had flown him down from Toronto because he wanted Steve to see Zig. He thought Steve needed a change.

Turns out Steve left for work at six in the morning, and he got home every night between ten and eleven. That was six days a week. On Sundays he was so exhausted he slept all day.

He had no family life. He was so tired he had run off the road two or three times driving back and forth the 20 or 30 miles he had to go to his job. His wife was threatening to divorce him. Everything in this guy's life was falling apart - the whole nine yards.

Steve's friend had forewarned Zig of all this, and when Zig met with Steve, he discovered his boss was the person he looked up to the most.

"Why is that?" Zig asked him.

"Most successful man I've ever seen."

"Okay,” Zig said, "let's look at your boss. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to give your boss a plus or a minus grade on all the questions I'm going to ask you."

"Okay."

He asked, "Steve, how happy is your boss?"

Steve thought a minute. "I never really thought about it until now, but I don't think he's happy at all."

"Well, we'll give him a minus on that, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Why do you say you don't think he's happy?"

"Well, uh, number one, I've never heard him laugh. He seldom smiles, and besides that he has ulcers."

"Well, let's see now, that tells me something about his health. Do we give him a plus or minus on that?"

"Oh, that looks like a minus."

Zig said, "If he's got ulcers, that tells me something about his peace of mind. Do we give him a plus or a minus?"

"I'd say another minus."

"Okay," Zig continued. "How prosperous is your boss?"

He said, "Man, he's got money running out of his ears. That's why he's my role model."

"I guess we give him a big old plus on that one."

"Absolutely!" said Steve.

Zig said, "How secure is he?"

"Well, he's as secure as money can make you."

"We had some billionaire brothers here in Dallas who went bankrupt. How does your boss compare?"

"He doesn't have that kind of money."

"We had an industrialist here who was worth half a billion. Does he have that kind of money?"

"No way."

"We had another one, a former governor worth a hundred million at one time. He's bankrupt. How does your boss compare?"

Steve said, "Oh, man, he doesn't have that kind of money."

"Well, I don't want to give him a plus, I don't want to give him a minus. What about a question mark? Would that be fair?"

"I never thought I would say this," he said, "but that would be more than fair."

"How many friends does your boss have?"

Steve pondered for a moment. "Really, I don't think he has any. I'm not his friend; I just admire him because he's so successful. To tell you the truth, the guy's somewhat of a jerk."

"Well, we're sure going to give him a minus on that, aren't we?"

He sighed, "Once again, yes."

Zig said, "Tell me about his family."

"Well, his wife's divorcing him."

"Then we have to give him a minus for that."

"Yes we do. I can't believe it! He's getting a minus on everything."

"How much hope does he have for the future?"

"Well, before I started talking to you, I thought he had lots. But now I don't think he has any real hope."

"Well," Zig said, "another minus."

"Yep."

"Steve, let me ask you a question. Of the eight things everybody wants, your boss gets a minus on six, a plus on one, and a question mark on one. Knowing what you know, would you swap places with him?"

Get Off The Nail

Get Off the Nail! 

by Jerry Clark

Over the years I have met and observed thousands of people and each and every last one of them say they want some improvement in certain areas of their lives. In fact, most of them flat out confessed that they hated certain situations they were in. But after further evaluations, I discovered that they weren't willing to do anything about it. It seemed to be good enough for them to just sit there and wallow in their pain, anguish and misery.

Several years ago, motivational speaker Les Brown and I were chatting after we had both conducted trainings for a Network Marketing Company. We were talking about the number of people who say they want to make changes but don't seem to ever do anything about it. I told him it reminded me of a story I heard him tell an audience over 10 years ago. Here's how the story goes…

One day a man was walking down the street on his way to work. As he walked down the street, there were dogs on just about every front porch and they all would bark as the man walked passed them. However, there was one dog that he remembered, because this dog was just sitting there and he was whimpering and whining and moaning, you know the little whimpering sounds dogs make when they are wounded or in some sort of pain. Well, this particular dog was just sitting there on the front porch making those sounds.

The man was curious as to why this dog wasn 't barking like the other dogs and why he was whimpering. He couldn't figure it out, so he just kept walking to work. The next day he was in the same situation where he was walking down the street and saw the dogs once again and this same dog that was moaning and groaning the other day was doing the same thing today and he just couldn't figure it out. Well, he walked passed for an entire week and every day the dog would be there moaning and groaning. So, finally, the guy got fed up, he said, "Let me find out what's going on." So he went and knocked on the door and a guy came out and said, "Yes, how may I help you?"

He said, "Sir, is this your dog? "

"Yes, that's my dog. "

"Well, what's wrong with him?"

The owner of the dog said, "What do you mean?"

"Well, he's been sitting here moaning and groaning, whimpering and whining for an entire week. The rest of the dogs are barking, your dog should be barking too, why is he moaning and groaning?"

The owner said, "Well, he's actually sitting on a nail." And the guy said, "What! Your dog is sitting on a nail. Why doesn't he get off?"

"Well, it just doesn't hurt him enough."

Wow! You know most people are like that dog sitting on a nail. I mean, sure, they would like to get off the nail, but what if they got off the nail and they died or something?

They never seem to stop to consider that maybe they would be healed, maybe they would be free, maybe they would be able to move about and discover some new and exciting options for their lives. But, nope! Instead, they just sit there on that nail because they're not sure what's going to happen if they get off.

I mean, there are no guarantees of safety so to speak. Even though, it's not the best feeling in the world, sitting on a nail, I mean, it's not comfortable sitting on a nail, it kind of hurts, but at least they know what to expect. They know that they have $900 per week coming in so they can pay their bills and put food on the table and they can put some clothes on their back and a roof over their heads. You know, that's enough for most people.

They may even get upset with you if you question their so called security, I mean, if you hand them a book or tape program or tell them about a seminar that can give them some effective strategies for getting off nails, they may resent you for it.

Well, you're different. You are willing to learn some effective nail removing strategies that could set you free because you and I both know that there is no such thing as security.

Well, maybe I should take that back. I do know of a place where security exists on this planet. It's called the graveyard. And you know what, most people tip toe through life so that they can arrive at the graveyard safely. Of course this will not be you… Right?

That's right. Simply because, instead of moaning and groaning, whimpering and whining about not getting the results you desire, you are a Developing Charging Rhino! And Rhinos always choose to GET OFF THE NAIL and create the conditions they desire.

Why This Coca Cola Salesman Fails In Israel

A disappointed salesman of Coca-Cola returned from his assignment to Israel. 

A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Israelis?" 

The salesman explained, "When I got posted, I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch. But I had a problem. I didn't know how to speak Hebrew. So I planned to convey the message through three posters.


First poster : A man lying in the hot desert sand totally exhausted and fainting. 

Second poster : The man is drinking Coca-Cola.

Third poster : Our man is now totally refreshed.

And then these posters were pasted all over the place.
"Terrific! That should have worked!" said the friend. 

"The heck it should have!" said the salesman. 

"No one told me they read from right to left!"

Contributed by Sam and Betty Wong