Applauding Own Speech

A colleague was invited to make a speech in Japan. Aware of his reputation as a very good speaker, he was surprised that his audience did not react at all to any of his perfectly timed jokes and witticisms. In fact, the audience did not react to anything he said.

Somewhat put down, he went back to his seat and a Japanese gentleman appeared on the stage. This man had a terrific success! People laughed and applauded, and although the original speaker could not understand one bit of what was said, still he started to applaud, as the man evidently deserved praise for this perfect speech.

He was interrupted by the chairman of the conference, "No no, sir. You must not applaud."

Dumbfounded, he protested: "But why? This man is obviously a very good speaker."

"No sir, you must not applaud. He is translating your speech."

The message is when you communicate, it's not only important to have a very powerful message and content, it's more important that the audience must be able to understand what you are trying to say.

Good communication is making sure the person, who is  receiving your message, can fully understand you.

Christ Defeated?

To carry the news of the Battle of Waterloo to England, a ship signaled to a man on shore, who relayed the word to another on a hill, and so on across Britain. The first word, “Wellington,” was signaled. The next word was “defeated.” Then a fog closed in, and the message was interrupted. 

Across England, people wept over the message: “Wellington defeated.” Then the fog lifted. The communication continued with two additional words: “the enemy.” And Englishmen celebrated the victory.

There was great sorrow when the body of Jesus was carried from the cross to the tomb. The signal seemed to say, “Jesus Christ defeated.” 

But three days later the fog lifted and it was announced, “Jesus Christ defeated the enemy!”  

Through Christ we have complete victory over our enemies of sin, death, and Satan, and we have new life, a glorious hope, and the certainty of our own resurrection one day.

Kevin Sadler

English Is A Very Tough Language

English is such a tough language to master. There are more exceptions to the rules than rules. It's no wonder there are so many blunders. We hope this creative copy from travel and dining brochures from around the world will put a smile on your face.

Italian Hotel Brochure:
This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude.

Polish Tourist Brochure:
As for the tripe served you at the Hotel Monopol, you will be singing its praises to your grandchildren as you lie on your deathbed.

Swiss Menu:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

Spanish Hotel Ad:
The provision of a large French widow in every room adds to visitors' comfort.

Athens Hotel:
A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

On the Menu:
Bowels in sauce. (Tripe!)

Chopped up cow with wire through it. (Shish-kebob)

Buttered saucepans and fried hormones - Japan

Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China

Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China

Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong

Teppan Yaki, Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan

Hong Kong Tailor Shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

Bangkok Dry Cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

Paris Dress Shop:
Dresses for street walking.

One Carton and Six Eggs

This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why on earth did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."

Change Your Words And You Will Change Your World

A blind old man sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He had a sign which read: "I am blind. Please Help." There were only a few coins in the tin can.

When a lady came walking by, she stopped and backtracked. She looked disapprovingly at the sign, took it and wrote some words on the back. She put the sign back where it was, so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. Many more people were giving money to the blind man.

That afternoon the lady who had changed the sign came to see how things were going. The blind man recognized the sound of her high heels and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"

The lady said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way. I wrote: 'Today is a beautiful day, but I cannot see it.'"

Both signs told people the same thing... that the old man was blind. But the first sign simply said the man was blind. The second sign told people they were extremely fortunate that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story:
Be thankful for what you have.
Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

When life gives you a reason to cry, show life that you have 100 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Keep the faith and drop the fear... just remember God is Near! 

Watch the video here

What Is Your Guy Saying? (Interpretation Provided)

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "I don't know what I am thinking and so how can I even explain it to you?"

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't the food already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: A conditioned response to keep you from talking too much.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "Honestly, I don't really know the details and why don't you just stop asking me?"

"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "There is nothing interesting and are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember every thing... but I forgot your birthday."

"OH, DON'T FUSS -- I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "Man, it hurts like crazy but I have to put on a brave front... oh, I want my mommy."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Translated: "Leave me alone so that I can think of the right reason for doing what I am doing."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "I am surfing the internet and please don't ask me to look for anything."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don't try on any more outfits. I'm bored to death."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Translated: "I will create the mess and you will clean it up."

Bon Appetit and Barnhouse

Around the turn of the century, a wealthy but unsophisticated oil tycoon from Texas made his first trip to Europe on a ship. The first night at dinner, he found himself seated with a stranger, a Frenchman, who dutifully nodded and said, “Bon appetit.” Thinking the man was introducing himself, he replied, “Barnhouse.”

For several days the ritual was repeated. The Frenchman would nod and say, “Bon appetit.” The Texan would smile and reply, “Barnhouse” a little louder and more distinctly than the time before.

One afternoon, Mr. Barnhouse mentioned it to another passenger who set the oil baron straight. “You’ve got it all wrong. He wasn’t introducing himself. ‘Bon appetit’ is the French way of telling you to enjoy your meal.” 

Needless to say, Barnhouse was terribly embarrassed and determined to make things right. At dinner that evening, the Texan came in, nodded at his friend and said, “Bon appetit.”

The Frenchman rose and answered, “Barnhouse.”

Ten Smartest Animals - No. 2 - DOLPHIN

2. Dolphin

Have you ever wondered why dolphins and other cetaceans are the star attraction at most aquariums? It’s because they’re smarter than almost any other creature on the planet. Dolphins are extremely social animals. Schools of dolphins can be observed in the world’s oceans surfing, racing, leaping, spinning, whistling and otherwise enjoying themselves. They also have a sophisticated “language,” though humans have only begun to unravel it. Dolphins use tools in their natural environment and can learn an impressive array of behavioral commands by human trainers. Like many of the most intelligent animals on Earth, dolphin females remain with their young for several years, teaching them all the tricks of the dolphin trade.

Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/top-10-smartest-animals.html#ixzz1Ii2zTKba

The End Is Near!

A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before its too late!" 

They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. 

"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard a big splash. 

"Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says bridge out instead?"

What Shall We Sing?

A down-and out-musician was playing his guitar in the middle of a busy wharf.


Striding over, a policeman asked, “May I please see your permit?”


I don’t have one,” confessed the musician.


“In that case, you’ll have to accompany me.”


“Splendid!” exclaimed the musician. “What shall we sing?”

How often we assume that our listeners understand what we are trying to say. When that does not happen, we become confused as to what has gone wrong. It is always the responsibility of the encoder (the one who speaks) to make sure that his message is properly received by the decoder (the one who receives the message).

Misunderstood Prescription

A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. 

At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse.

"Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?" the doctor asked.

"No," replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only drink for about 15 minutes!"

How often we assume that our listeners understand what we are trying to say. When that does not happen, we become confused as to what has gone wrong. It is always the responsibility of the encoder (the one who speaks) to make sure that his message is properly received by the decoder (the one who receives the message).