Chair of Applied Electronics

The Smith's were proud of their family tradition; their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower and also included many Senators and Wall Street wizards.

When they decided to compile a family history as a legacy reminder for their children and grandchildren they hired a fine author. Only one problem arose and that was how to handle that great-uncle George, who was executed in the electric chair.

The author said he could handle the story tactfully.

The book appeared. It said "Great-uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution, was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock."

The Proud Flying Frog

"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18

In the devotional book, Today in the Word, the writer tells the fable about a frog and a duck who shared a pond. They developed a close friendship as they talked and played together. But when the hot summer sun began to evaporate the water in the pond, the duck decided to fly to a larger body of water. Not wanting to be left alone, the frog suggested that his friend and another duck hold a stick in their bills so he could hang onto it with his mouth. In that way they could all fly to another pond.

As the three were flying high overhead a farmer looked up, saw the frog clinging to the stick by his mouth, and exclaimed, "What a brilliant idea! I wonder who thought of that?" Without hesitation the frog said, "I did!" And he was done!

Useless Compass?

An old sailor repeatedly got lost at sea, so his friends gave him a compass and urged him to use it. The next time he went out in his boat, he followed their advice and took the compass with him. But as usual he became hopelessly confused and was unable to find land. Finally he was rescued by his friends.

Disgusted and impatient with him, they asked, “Why didn’t you use that compass we gave you? You could have saved us a lot of trouble!” The sailor responded, “I didn’t dare to! I wanted to go north, but as hard as I tried to make the needle aim in that direction, it just kept on pointing southeast.”

That old sailor was so certain he knew which way was north that he stubbornly tired to force his own personal persuasion on his compass. Unable to do so, he tossed it aside as worthless and failed to benefit from the guidance it offered.

The Caddy

THE CADDY

Two golfers stepped up to the first tee on the St. Andrews course in New York. The older golfer was a kindly man who played a thoughtful, deliberate game. The younger golfer was full of pride and impatience.

On the first hole he sliced, lost his ball in the tall grass, hit another one, & had a score of 8 instead of 4 or 5. And the next hole was even worse.

Frustrated, he began hollering at the caddy: "Keep your eyes peeled. I'm not here to do your job for you!" Thereafter, every bad shot was the caddy's fault! At the end of the first 9 holes, the younger golfer was so upset that he discharged the caddy and carried his own bag. "That caddy made me nervous. He doesn't like me, and I blankety-blank sure don't like him! I say good riddance to him!"

After several more holes had been played without a word, the older golfer broke the silence: "Several years ago a little kid from Yonkers came up here and became a caddy. He was a sweet-natured boy; quick-witted, willing, and had a nose for golf. Everybody liked him. His name was William; he had a clubfoot. But that didn't affect his caddying. It was a pleasure to go out with him."

"A famous doctor, a member of the club, became interested in William and took him South that winter and operated on his foot. When William returned, he went back to caddying. The doctor, however, had to give up golf shortly after that because of his health. And it wasn't long after that when he died.

"Months later I was playing a round with William carrying my bag. It was Spring, the fields and hedges were alive with blossoms. William stopped several times to gather flowers until he had quite a bouquet. 'Who's the girl, William?' I asked. 'I haven't any girl, sir,' he said. 'They're for my friend, the doctor--twice a week I take flowers to his grave.'

"Now that's a caddy worth having," the younger golfer said. "What ever happened to him?" The older man paused and then replied, "For 9 holes he was carrying your bag."

(From a sermon by Melvin Newland, Thanksgiving and Praise, 11/24/2010)

Pride Versus Obedience

Roger Staubach who led the Dallas Cowboys to the World Championship in '71 admitted that his position as a quarterback who didn't call his own signals was a source of trial for him.

Coach Landry sent in every play. He told Roger when to pass, when to run and only in emergency situations could he change the play (and he had better be right!).

Even though Roger considered coach Landry to have a "genius mind" when it came to football strategy, pride said that he should be able to run his own team.

Roger later said, "I faced up to the issue of obedience. Once I learned to obey there was harmony, fulfillment, and victory."

The point of the story is simple.

And that is in our relationship with God it requires full submission and obedience.

If God is convicting you to do something or to get rid of sins or habits...just do it.

Like in our story, once you learned to obey that's the only time you'll experience harmony, fulfillment, and victory in your life.

Don & Dawn

If Only They Have Read

When the now-famous poet Elizabeth Barrett became the wife of Robert Browning, her parents disowned her because they disapproved of the marriage.

Their daughter Elizabeth, however, wrote almost every week, telling them that she loved them and longed for a reconciliation.

After 10 years, she received a huge box in the mail that contained all the notes she had sent. Not one had been opened!

Although these "love letters" have now become a precious part of classical English literature, it's really sad to think that they were never read by Elizabeth Barrett's own parents.

Had they looked at just one, the broken relationship with their daughter might have been healed.

All of us are alienated from God because of sin, but God has provided a way of reconciliation. In the Bible, He tells about it, and also expresses His earnest desire for fellowship with us.

The question is, are you reading God's letter to you regularly?

Are you meditating His Words daily?

If not, let this message today be of an encouragement to you.

Begin memorizing and meditating God's Word and feel His presence wherever you go. 

Don and Dawn

Arrogant FBI Agent

An FBI agent tells a Montana rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegal grown drugs."

The old rancher says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there."

The agent verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me."  

Reaching into his rear pant pocket and removing his badge, the officer proudly displays it to the farmer. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish, on any land. No questions asked nor answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"

The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.

Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the agent running for his life and close behind is the rancher's bull.

With every step, the bull is gaining ground on the agent. The agent is clearly terrified.

The old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs...

"Your badge! Show him your badge!"

Big But Not So Smart

A newly deputized police officer responded to a report of a bar room disturbance.

The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds.  What's more he boasted that he could whip the deputy and the "Heavy Weight Boxing Champion of the World."

Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist too; probably better than Houdini."

The giant nodded.

"If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show us all how strong you really are.  But all I've got is a set of lousy handcuffs. Why don't you show us just how quickly you can break out of them?"

Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes.

"I can't get out of these," the giant growled.

"Are you sure?" the deputy gingerly asked.

The fellow tried again.  "Nope," he replied.  "I can't do it."

"In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest."

What Do You Make?

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life.

One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued,” What’s a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"

To stress his point he said to another guest; "You're a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?"

Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, "You want to know what I make? (She paused for a second, then began...)

"Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't make them sit for 5 without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental. You want to know what I make? (She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table)

I make kids wonder. I make them question. I make them apologize and mean it. I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions. I teach them to write and then I make them write.. Key boarding isn't everything. I make them read, read, read. I make them show all their work in math. They use their God given brain, not the man-made calculator. I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know about English while preserving their unique cultural identity. I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe.

Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life. (Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.) Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn't everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant. You want to know what I make? I MAKE A DIFFERENCE. What do you make Mr. CEO?

His jaw dropped, he went silent.

Horseshoe Impression

One day a cowboy walked into a blacksmith shop and picked up a horseshoe, not realizing that it had just come from the forge. He immediately dropped it and jammed his hand into his pocket, trying to act as if nothing had happened. 

The blacksmith noticed and asked with a grin, "Kind of hot, wasn't it?"

"Nope," answered the cowboy through clenched teeth, "it just doesn't take me long to look at a horseshoe."

Who is the Mightiest Creature in the Jungle?

The lion was proud of his mastery of the animal kingdom. One day he decided to make sure all the other animals knew he was the king of the jungle.

He was so confident that he bypassed the smaller animals and went straight to the leopard. “Who is the mightiest creature in the jungle?” the lion asked. The leopard replied, “Why you are, of course.” The lion gave a mighty roar of approval.

Next he asked the cheetah,“Who is the mightiest creature in the jungle?” The cheetah quickly responded, “Everyone knows that you are, mighty lion.”

Next on the list was the elephant. The lion faced the elephant and addressed his question:“Who is the mightiest creature in the jungle?” 

The elephant didn’t respond in quite the same fashion as the previous animals, though. Instead, he immediately grabbed the lion with his trunk, whirled him around in the air five or six times and slammed him into a tree! Then he pounded him onto the ground several times, dunked him underwater in a nearby lake, and finally dumped him out unceremoniously on the shore.

The lion, beaten and bruised and battered, struggled to his feet. He looked at the elephant through sad and bloody eyes and said, “Look, just because you don’t know the answer is no reason to get nasty!”

Overconfident Naval Officer Loses His Way in the Fog

During a 1923 training exercise, a naval destroyer called the USS Delphy led a flotilla of seven vessels down the California coast. The USS Delphy was captained by Lieutenant Commander Donald T. Hunter, an experienced navigator and instructor at the Naval Academy. 

Without warning, about half way on their training mission, a thick blanket of fog descended on the ships. In the midst of the fog (Hunter claimed it looked like "pea soup"), Hunter couldn't get an accurate evaluation of his location. Contrary to Hunter's calculations, the lead ship was headed right into Devil's Jaw, a scant two miles off the California coast. But that didn't stop Hunter from plowing ahead. That is not surprising, for Hunter was known for his self-confident decisiveness and what others called his "magic infallibility" to guide his ship.

Traveling at 20 knots, suddenly the USS Delphy smashed broadside into the rocky Point Arguello shoreline. The force of the massive collision of welded steel and jagged rock split the hull of the USS Delphy in half. One by one, the other destroyers followed the Delphy's lead and smashed into the rocks. Twenty-two naval men died. The accident resulted in the loss of all seven ships. It still stands as one of the worst peacetime naval disasters in history.

Submitted by Lee Eclov, Vernon Hills, Illinois; sources: Robert McKenna, The Dictionary of Nautical Literacy (McGraw Hill, 2003), p. 97; Charles Lockwood & Hans Christian Adamson, Tragedy at Honda (Naval Institute Press, 1986), pp. 29-49

On A Collision Course

This is supposed to be the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. 

The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995. 

- Please change your direction 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. 

- Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.

- This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. 

- No. I say again, you divert YOUR course. 

- THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW! 

- This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Never Be Wrong

A funny story is told about General George Patton from his World War II days. He once accepted an invitation to dine at a press camp in Africa. Wine was served in canteen cups but, obviously thinking he was served coffee, Patton poured cream into his cup. As he stirred in sugar, Patton was warned that his cup contained red wine and not coffee.

Now, General Patton could never, never be wrong. Without hesitating he replied, "I know. I like my wine this way." And he drank it!

Ironside's Dog

H.A. Ironside had an experience with a customer in a crowded restaurant. Just as Ironside was about to begin his meal, a man approached and asked if he could join him at his table. Ironside invited his to have a seat.

Then, as was his custom, Ironside bowed his head in prayer. 

When he opened his eyes, the other man asked, "Do you have a headache?" 

Ironside replied, "No, I don't." 

The other man asked, "Well, is there something wrong with your food?" 

Ironside replied, "No, I was simply thanking God as I always do before I eat." 

The man said, "Oh, you're one of those, are you? Well, I want you to know I never give thanks. I earn my money by the sweat of my brow and I don't have to give thanks to anybody when I eat. I just start right in!" 

Ironside said, "Yes, you're just like my dog. That's what he does too".

King of the Jungle?

There was a young lion who wandered from his father to test whether or not he would get the same respect from the other animals as his father did. As the young lion approached some monkeys, he roared and asked, "WHO IS THE KING OF THE JUNGLE?" 

The monkeys, being afraid, responded, "YOU are!" The lion replied, "And don't you forget it!" The lion repeated this to each animal in the jungle and got the same response until he came across a herd of elephants. 

The little lion roared and asked, "WHO IS THE KING OF THE JUNGLE?" The big bull elephant walked closer to the lion, swooped him up in his trunk, swung him around and around and threw him in the river. 

Battered and wet, the little lion replied, "Just because you didn't know the answer to the question didn't mean you had to get nasty about it!" 

Most of us roar through life without God in the same way - as if we are kings of the jungle - until life throws us in a tail spin and shows us that we are not.