Welcome to Albert's Sermon Illustrations

In this blog, I have collected many stories, quotes, jokes and ideas that I use regularly in my sermons.I have tried to put in the sources and origins of these illustrations. If I have missed some or gotten the wrong sources, please let me know. I will update them. Feel free to use these illustrations for the glory of God. If you have some illustrations that you like to contribute, kindly add them to my blog, so that I and others may benefit from them. God bless!
Reverend Albert Kang

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Sunday, May 29, 2011

Actual Medical Records

The following are actual medical records taken from patients' charts around North America:


- The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.


- Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.


- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.


- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.


- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.


- The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.


- She is numb from her toes down.


- While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.


- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.


- The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.


- Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.


- Patient was alert and unresponsive.


- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

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