Welcome to Albert's Sermon Illustrations

In this blog, I have collected many stories, quotes, jokes and ideas that I use regularly in my sermons.I have tried to put in the sources and origins of these illustrations. If I have missed some or gotten the wrong sources, please let me know. I will update them. Feel free to use these illustrations for the glory of God. If you have some illustrations that you like to contribute, kindly add them to my blog, so that I and others may benefit from them. God bless!
Reverend Albert Kang

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Thursday, April 28, 2011

What Is Your Guy Saying? (Interpretation Provided)

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "I don't know what I am thinking and so how can I even explain it to you?"

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't the food already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: A conditioned response to keep you from talking too much.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "Honestly, I don't really know the details and why don't you just stop asking me?"

"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "There is nothing interesting and are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember every thing... but I forgot your birthday."

"OH, DON'T FUSS -- I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "Man, it hurts like crazy but I have to put on a brave front... oh, I want my mommy."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Translated: "Leave me alone so that I can think of the right reason for doing what I am doing."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "I am surfing the internet and please don't ask me to look for anything."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don't try on any more outfits. I'm bored to death."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Translated: "I will create the mess and you will clean it up."

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